It all starts with being consciously aware of yourself. You have to take the time to analyse what your triggers are, what happens to you physically when you react without thinking and what situations you've experienced that have left you regretting your actions. I know you're reading my fortnightly newsletter on this, CLUES, and in the next few weeks, I'll be covering more on this topic.
In the meantime, take a moment and write down all the things that really irritate you. Now write down what happened when you reacted first and thought second. Did you notice anything happening to your body - were you getting tense, tummy in knots, shaking? Your body will often tell you (if you're alert to it) that you're getting worked up long before your thinking brain clicks in. Learn what your signals and your triggers are, and the moment you sense it happening, take a slow deep breath and count to five. However instead of counting to five, count to 'I'm fine.' ie 'one, two, three, four, I'm fine'. Do this a few times if you can. This should start to slow down the adrenaline flow, start sending 'stand down' messages to your amygdala and give your thinking brain time to click in. But you have to do a lot of thinking and preparation now to train your brain for what you really want it to do before The Almond Effect (R) kicks in.
There'll be an e-book of with more explanations and more than 50 strategies to develop Reaction Management on my website www.anneriches.com in the next few weeks.