There were some interesting 'off the cuff' comments from some Presenters at the Happiness and its Causes Conference in Brisbane recently.
Let me share some that might be of value to you in your work as Change Leaders.
Dr Jane Goodall
It's a pity we've lost the concept of the elders. Then we used to ask 'What are the consequences of our actions for our community, our world, our future? Now we ask: what will make me happy now?
Matthieu Ricard (inspiring!)
Compassion without wisdom is blind; compassion without action is sterile
Dr Robert Biswas-Diener
Life is beautiful because it gives us second chances - until we get it right
Dr Anthony Grant, presenter ABC Making Australia Happy
Eight steps to happiness:
1. Write your eulogy (clarifies your goals and values)
2. Do random acts of kindness
3. Practice mindfulness
4. Identify your strengths
5. Practice gratitude
6. Forgive
7. Develop social networks
8. Reflect, review and renew
Roko Belic, filmmaker The Happy Movie
Everything we do in our lives affects someone. And if it doesn’t, it affects you and that eventually affects someone else
Professor Paula Barrett
The brain continuously forms new cells no matter how old you are as long as you are well, get plenty of sleep, eat a good diet and exercise regularly. (i.e. neuroplasticity)
Michael Rosengren
Ideas for building resilience:
* Develop the skill of 'savouring'
* Spend one hour a week to do something for someone or a cause
* Physically move for one hour a day
* Be present (eg being on your phone when you are supposed to be engaging with someone else or in meetings etc is disrespectful)
* Have someone to love and something to do or to look forward to.
Dr Russ Harris
Self-confidence does not mean no fear or anxiety. Confidence is a cognitive state.
It’s irrational not to be afraid but you can control and manage it.
Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear and anxiety; it is your transformed relationship with it
Sarah Wilson
Negative thoughts are ‘stickier’ than positive thoughts
Dr Paul Eckman
Does being compassionate benefit the giver more than the receiver?
Professor Marco Iacoboni (one of the star presenters in my view)
Our capacity for empathy is hard-wired (mirror neurons)
There are degrees of empathy. We tend to be more empathetic with people or things that are like us
B. Alan Wallace (another fabulous thinker)
Humans can use intelligence to find other ways beyond appearance to find similarities and therefore be empathetic.
We are all creatures of habit but as humans we can choose the habits we want (neuroplasticity).
Professor Pat McGorry
Genuine happiness comes not from what we are getting from the world but rather what we are giving to the world.
Michael J Gelb
How to think like Leonardo da Vinci every day -
* Have an insatiable quest for knowledge and continuous improvement
* Learn from experience, be an independent thinker
* Sharpen your senses – pick up on what is going on around you
* Manage ambiguity and change
* Be a whole brain thinker
* Maintain body as well as mind fitness
* Be a systems thinker.
Should you go to the next one?
I enjoyed the Conference but I did not think it was anywhere near as insightful and illuminating as its sister conference Mind and Its Potential
But as with everything we experience in life, there is always food for thought if you look for it.
So I am confident you found some ideas that resonated with you in the above list.
And if you did, then the next step is: so what will you do with it? What do you need to do more of, less of or keep on doing and how will you hold yourself accountable for that?
Go well.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tunnel vision of the grey matter
Peter unashamedly was reading email on his Blackberry in a team meeting. He thought the meetings were a total waste of time. The team leader asked everyone for their point of view but, unless it accorded with his own, their opinions were ignored or worst still, met with a cynical or sarcastic remark or look!
As Peter said to one of his team mates: ‘The man has got tunnel vision of the grey matter!’
Interestingly, he may be right!
How our brain filters stuff out
According to an article in Wired by Jonah Lehrer there could be some truth in Peter’s comments. He has an interesting explanation for why we often see or hear only what we want to see or hear.
We know that our amygdala responds to emotionally significant events that involve some sort of threat to us. Our amygdala continuously assesses whether something is a true life/death or physical risk to us.
And because the amygdala does not distinguish between physical and psychological threat, it also actively assesses threat levels in non-physical risk situations like an email from a client, a look from a colleague or the words of the boss.
In both physical and non-physical situations, if the amygdala activates the threat response and we react without using our thinking brain (pre frontal cortex) resulting in inappropriate behaviours, I call that The Almond Effect®.
Sometimes our intuition is wrong
However it seems that there are times when we don’t want to accept what we hear or see because it doesn’t accord with our expectations or our reality, so our brain carefully edits them out, instead ‘searching for evidence that confirms what we already believe.’
Lehrer describes an experiment conducted by Kevin Dunbar in 2003 at Dartmouth College. Dunbar showed students two video clips of two different sized balls falling to the ground. In one clip the balls hit the ground at the same time. In the other the heavier ball landed first.
The students were asked to select the more accurate representation of the law of gravity.
Those students who were not versed in physics believed that it was unrealistic that the balls would land at the same time, an intuition that strikes a chord with me.
However it is wrong as the science shows (Galileo and Newton) that once the balls reach a critical velocity, they would travel at the same rates and so the scenario where they would land together is correct.
You and your ACC and DLPFC
The part of the brain that registers errors and contradictions is the ACC (anterior cingulate cortex). It gets turned on when we see or hear or in any way sense that something is wrong and doesn’t fit with our patterns of experience. I have heard neuroscientists describe it as the ‘Oh Sh*t’ response.
But Dunbar found that there is another part of our brain, the DLPFC (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex) that is also involved. When it is activated, it suppresses thoughts that don’t square with our preconceptions.
As Lehrer so eloquently puts it, if the ACC is the “Oh Sh*T” circuit, then the DLPFC is the ‘delete’ key.
Don’t waste your time arguing
Now maybe my DLPFC is helping me out here, but this seems like a great explanation about how people behave when they don’t seem to hear or see something that doesn’t accord with their point of view.
And perhaps, significantly, it’s the differentiating factor between managers who can master their DLPFC and say, ‘that’s impossible’ and those who say, ‘that’s interesting – I wonder why you think that may be possible.’
Clearly the latter attitude is the one more likely to be open to innovative ideas, solve difficult complex problems and demonstrate great leadership.
So maybe Peter was right and those meetings are just a waste of time if the boss is only interested in their own point of view.
I suspect we all suffer from ‘tunnel vision of the grey matter’ occasionally but at least you now know why!
And maybe we need to check our own DLPFC if we can't resolve a difficult sitation. Are we in fact stuck because we are filtering out other ways of looking at the situation?
Time to put the headlights on!
As Peter said to one of his team mates: ‘The man has got tunnel vision of the grey matter!’
Interestingly, he may be right!
How our brain filters stuff out
According to an article in Wired by Jonah Lehrer there could be some truth in Peter’s comments. He has an interesting explanation for why we often see or hear only what we want to see or hear.
We know that our amygdala responds to emotionally significant events that involve some sort of threat to us. Our amygdala continuously assesses whether something is a true life/death or physical risk to us.
And because the amygdala does not distinguish between physical and psychological threat, it also actively assesses threat levels in non-physical risk situations like an email from a client, a look from a colleague or the words of the boss.
In both physical and non-physical situations, if the amygdala activates the threat response and we react without using our thinking brain (pre frontal cortex) resulting in inappropriate behaviours, I call that The Almond Effect®.
Sometimes our intuition is wrong
However it seems that there are times when we don’t want to accept what we hear or see because it doesn’t accord with our expectations or our reality, so our brain carefully edits them out, instead ‘searching for evidence that confirms what we already believe.’
Lehrer describes an experiment conducted by Kevin Dunbar in 2003 at Dartmouth College. Dunbar showed students two video clips of two different sized balls falling to the ground. In one clip the balls hit the ground at the same time. In the other the heavier ball landed first.
The students were asked to select the more accurate representation of the law of gravity.
Those students who were not versed in physics believed that it was unrealistic that the balls would land at the same time, an intuition that strikes a chord with me.
However it is wrong as the science shows (Galileo and Newton) that once the balls reach a critical velocity, they would travel at the same rates and so the scenario where they would land together is correct.
You and your ACC and DLPFC
The part of the brain that registers errors and contradictions is the ACC (anterior cingulate cortex). It gets turned on when we see or hear or in any way sense that something is wrong and doesn’t fit with our patterns of experience. I have heard neuroscientists describe it as the ‘Oh Sh*t’ response.
But Dunbar found that there is another part of our brain, the DLPFC (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex) that is also involved. When it is activated, it suppresses thoughts that don’t square with our preconceptions.
As Lehrer so eloquently puts it, if the ACC is the “Oh Sh*T” circuit, then the DLPFC is the ‘delete’ key.
Don’t waste your time arguing
Now maybe my DLPFC is helping me out here, but this seems like a great explanation about how people behave when they don’t seem to hear or see something that doesn’t accord with their point of view.
And perhaps, significantly, it’s the differentiating factor between managers who can master their DLPFC and say, ‘that’s impossible’ and those who say, ‘that’s interesting – I wonder why you think that may be possible.’
Clearly the latter attitude is the one more likely to be open to innovative ideas, solve difficult complex problems and demonstrate great leadership.
So maybe Peter was right and those meetings are just a waste of time if the boss is only interested in their own point of view.
I suspect we all suffer from ‘tunnel vision of the grey matter’ occasionally but at least you now know why!
And maybe we need to check our own DLPFC if we can't resolve a difficult sitation. Are we in fact stuck because we are filtering out other ways of looking at the situation?
Time to put the headlights on!
Friday, April 15, 2011
The only thing to fear...
People in Burberry sunglasses and Victoria’s Secret lingerie are seen queuing for food and handouts because they lost their jobs, their homes, and their incomes in the Global Financial Crisis. Now even their self-esteem is at risk.
Radiation spews into the atmosphere in Japan. Floods in Australia cause drowning and destruction. People are butchered in countries ruled by dictators.
Tsunamis wipe out whole communities. Earthquakes crush the centres of cities like Christchurch.
The list goes on. And for a significant number of people the daily deluge of death, destruction and bad news is overwhelming and influential in their thinking process. They create fears and concerns. Even where I live, 80m above sea level, my neighbours are asking what we would do if a tsunami hit.
For particular personality types, anxiety takes hold. And for some parents it takes a big effort to maintain a positive outlook in front of their kids who are equally vulnerable to the images they see.
And then there’s work
Add another layer: unexpected uncertainty, or sudden and alarming change at work, the place where many of us spend most of our waking hours.
Job losses, restructuring, current boss leaving, a new boss, new corporate direction or new government policy, revitalized competitors, new products, the demand for more margin and reduction in costs – add your own example to this list.
Do these work-based experiences also affect the way you make decisions and how you interact with people around you – of course they do.
Six decades ago
All these happenings remind me of the words of Franklin D Roosevelt in his Presidential Inauguration speech in 1933. Although the global context was different (then the world was in the grip of the Depression), that sense of feeling overwhelmed, fearful and hopeless was as palpable as some people are feeling today.
You’ll recall Roosevelt’s words:
“...let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
Roosevelt was talking about the consequences of The Almond Effect® though I hadn’t described it as that yet – in fact my mother was only 3!
And his words are as relevant today
As David Ropeik says in his blog post about keeping perspective on the risks of nuclear power:
“As powerful a tool as our risk perception system is for keeping us safe in general, sometimes that instinctive/emotional system can get risk wrong, in dangerous ways.”
As you know, in our limbic system, the amygdala is responsible for our feelings of fear. It functions as a kind of psychological sentinel, scanning every situation with only one question in mind: could it harm me or not? It’s the basic survival mechanism that sets off our fight or flight mechanism.
It served us well when we were living on the savannah plains. The trouble is, it is still functioning in much the same way today.
But it is not rational thought that dictates our amygdala’s response. Rather it is an instantaneous prediction based on experiences, memories and concepts stored away over our whole lifetime from everything that happens in every minute that we live.
Fear can make a hash of our response to change or even options for consideration
Neurobiologists have shown, using fMRI and CT scans, that rational, logical decision-making is inextricably intertwined with emotions. In fact, human beings are primarily emotional and secondarily rational, so, without care, emotions call the shots in business and in life.
At work, people resist change because of their fears around job security and the unknown. Underpinning these fears are ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that could include concerns about capability to learn new skills, previous failures, more work, more energy, having to develop new patterns and routine to name a few.
The role of the leader is pivotal
I’ve been conducting some research over many years about what people want from their leaders in times of change.
Here are a few of the items on the checklist:
* to feel included
* to be treated with respect
* the truth
* WIIFM and to know where they fit in
* proof that the changed approach will work
* clarity of objectives and goals
* reasons for the change
* picture of what success looks like
* acknowledgement of past efforts and skills
The challenge for leaders is that often they don’t know all the answers about the change and unless they are self-aware with honed self-management skills, their own ‘almonds’ and ANTs take over. Their own fears and anxieties, even subtle ones, make a hash of their ability to make decisions, communicate wisely and lead change.
Where do you fit in all this?
So let me ask you right now to stop and reflect: does fear get in your way either at work or beyond? If I asked you to write down a list of things that could be impacting you, what would you write?
To what extent are your responses to others, your actions and words driven by your own deliberate or subconscious survival instincts?
Are you a leader who is providing what your team needs and wants from you?
Ticking the boxes of the checklist above is a great place to start.
Radiation spews into the atmosphere in Japan. Floods in Australia cause drowning and destruction. People are butchered in countries ruled by dictators.
Tsunamis wipe out whole communities. Earthquakes crush the centres of cities like Christchurch.
The list goes on. And for a significant number of people the daily deluge of death, destruction and bad news is overwhelming and influential in their thinking process. They create fears and concerns. Even where I live, 80m above sea level, my neighbours are asking what we would do if a tsunami hit.
For particular personality types, anxiety takes hold. And for some parents it takes a big effort to maintain a positive outlook in front of their kids who are equally vulnerable to the images they see.
And then there’s work
Add another layer: unexpected uncertainty, or sudden and alarming change at work, the place where many of us spend most of our waking hours.
Job losses, restructuring, current boss leaving, a new boss, new corporate direction or new government policy, revitalized competitors, new products, the demand for more margin and reduction in costs – add your own example to this list.
Do these work-based experiences also affect the way you make decisions and how you interact with people around you – of course they do.
Six decades ago
All these happenings remind me of the words of Franklin D Roosevelt in his Presidential Inauguration speech in 1933. Although the global context was different (then the world was in the grip of the Depression), that sense of feeling overwhelmed, fearful and hopeless was as palpable as some people are feeling today.
You’ll recall Roosevelt’s words:
“...let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
Roosevelt was talking about the consequences of The Almond Effect® though I hadn’t described it as that yet – in fact my mother was only 3!
And his words are as relevant today
As David Ropeik says in his blog post about keeping perspective on the risks of nuclear power:
“As powerful a tool as our risk perception system is for keeping us safe in general, sometimes that instinctive/emotional system can get risk wrong, in dangerous ways.”
As you know, in our limbic system, the amygdala is responsible for our feelings of fear. It functions as a kind of psychological sentinel, scanning every situation with only one question in mind: could it harm me or not? It’s the basic survival mechanism that sets off our fight or flight mechanism.
It served us well when we were living on the savannah plains. The trouble is, it is still functioning in much the same way today.
But it is not rational thought that dictates our amygdala’s response. Rather it is an instantaneous prediction based on experiences, memories and concepts stored away over our whole lifetime from everything that happens in every minute that we live.
Fear can make a hash of our response to change or even options for consideration
Neurobiologists have shown, using fMRI and CT scans, that rational, logical decision-making is inextricably intertwined with emotions. In fact, human beings are primarily emotional and secondarily rational, so, without care, emotions call the shots in business and in life.
At work, people resist change because of their fears around job security and the unknown. Underpinning these fears are ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that could include concerns about capability to learn new skills, previous failures, more work, more energy, having to develop new patterns and routine to name a few.
The role of the leader is pivotal
I’ve been conducting some research over many years about what people want from their leaders in times of change.
Here are a few of the items on the checklist:
* to feel included
* to be treated with respect
* the truth
* WIIFM and to know where they fit in
* proof that the changed approach will work
* clarity of objectives and goals
* reasons for the change
* picture of what success looks like
* acknowledgement of past efforts and skills
The challenge for leaders is that often they don’t know all the answers about the change and unless they are self-aware with honed self-management skills, their own ‘almonds’ and ANTs take over. Their own fears and anxieties, even subtle ones, make a hash of their ability to make decisions, communicate wisely and lead change.
Where do you fit in all this?
So let me ask you right now to stop and reflect: does fear get in your way either at work or beyond? If I asked you to write down a list of things that could be impacting you, what would you write?
To what extent are your responses to others, your actions and words driven by your own deliberate or subconscious survival instincts?
Are you a leader who is providing what your team needs and wants from you?
Ticking the boxes of the checklist above is a great place to start.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I own you
Watching TV the other night, I gazed in disbelief as the Superintendent of a police station yelled at his people:
“I own you – I don’t care what you think. Just do as I (expletive deleted!) tell you.”
I was staggered. Even though it was just a show on the tele, do bosses still do that? Is that the way they think you get the best out of people?
I checked when the program was made – 2010. It’s usually a good program and the story line mostly believable – but did the scriptwriter base this manager’s behaviour in reality?
What do you think? Have you or do you experience this behaviour from your bosses? If you do, click here and tell me about it - I'd really love to know.
Exploring the House of Wonders
It made me think of a place I visited last month in Stonetown, Zanzibar – the House of Wonders.
It’s called that because it was the first building in Zanzibar to have electricity, and also the first building in East Africa to have an elevator...
]
... which wasn’t working like mostly everything in Tanzania.
]
In the House of Wonders there are many exhibits on Swahili culture, including a finely carved Drum.
Here's a photo (sorry about the quality) of the explanation of the carvings on the Drum.
]
As you can see, it says that the Drum is an ancient Swahili insignia of power.
One of the inscriptions reads:
"Your action is a reflection of your leadership.
So call all the people together, including those who behave differently,
for the wise gathers all and satisfies them."
Clearly the Super on the tele hadn’t read that inscription.
What does motivate people?
Nor had the Super read what Dr Dean Mobbs, a Senior Investigator Scientist at the MRC-Cognitive and Brain Sciences Unit at Cambridge University UK says about the latest neuroscientific research on the mechanics of Motivation.
And the Super would not be alone. Most performance reviews systems have been designed without reference to what the neuroscientists are telling us.
I cause many an HR practitioner to raise their eyebrows when I suggest that most Performance Management systems emphasise the wrong thing.
Focus on performance that ‘has room for improvement’ or whatever muddying words the form might say, often engenders anxiety, even fear, for the recipient of such news, especially if salaries or promotions explicitly or implicitly depend on the Review.
And while it’s true that getting this feedback might induce short-term improvement, it’s unlikely to result in sustained motivation and commitment. The employee is more likely to be engaged in looking for a job elsewhere.
Our social brain is the driver
The research points to what is becoming more and more evident through Mobbs’ and other’s findings (and our own everyday lived experience) that the social environment is one of the most powerful contributors to how we perform.
I don’t mean how many morning teas we go to or drinks after work.
Rather if our workplace and the behaviours of others in it, appeals to the affiliation and feedback aspects of our social brain, we are more likely to try harder to consistently deliver up a good performance.
That’s because, for example as Mobbs says, when we:
* see those in our ‘in-group’ win
* help others and give advice
* work in a team
* hear people say nice things about us
the reward system in our brain is activated.
And we like to feel good, so we do more of whatever brings on that feeling.
Do you have leaders or troglodytes?
It is very easy to get seduced by the ‘system’ of Performance Management.
But like all change management strategies, if you want to bring about change, you need to focus on the benefit (the WIFM),the upsides for people to change their, often habitual, ways of doing things.
Our brains are hardwired to focus on things that scare us first – that’s The Almond Effect® in action – to make sure we take steps to survive.
But at work, life/death is not usually the issue – a positive environment and happiness is. Without them, employees and especially your best ones, simply go elsewhere for a job.
While many organisations are changing the structure and intent underpinning their performance management systems, you still need good leaders, not troglodytes like the TV Super, to implement them.
It’s a key leadership skill that is pivotal to motivating your people to perform to the best of their ability. And crucial to them being willing to change the way they do things.
So reflect for a moment: what does your performance management system emphasise and how well do your managers bring out the best in their teams?
And are you making sure that your organisation is utilizing the best means available to maximize the organisation’s results?
“I own you – I don’t care what you think. Just do as I (expletive deleted!) tell you.”
I was staggered. Even though it was just a show on the tele, do bosses still do that? Is that the way they think you get the best out of people?
I checked when the program was made – 2010. It’s usually a good program and the story line mostly believable – but did the scriptwriter base this manager’s behaviour in reality?
What do you think? Have you or do you experience this behaviour from your bosses? If you do, click here and tell me about it - I'd really love to know.
Exploring the House of Wonders
It made me think of a place I visited last month in Stonetown, Zanzibar – the House of Wonders.
It’s called that because it was the first building in Zanzibar to have electricity, and also the first building in East Africa to have an elevator...
]... which wasn’t working like mostly everything in Tanzania.
]In the House of Wonders there are many exhibits on Swahili culture, including a finely carved Drum.
Here's a photo (sorry about the quality) of the explanation of the carvings on the Drum.
]As you can see, it says that the Drum is an ancient Swahili insignia of power.
One of the inscriptions reads:
"Your action is a reflection of your leadership.
So call all the people together, including those who behave differently,
for the wise gathers all and satisfies them."
Clearly the Super on the tele hadn’t read that inscription.
What does motivate people?
Nor had the Super read what Dr Dean Mobbs, a Senior Investigator Scientist at the MRC-Cognitive and Brain Sciences Unit at Cambridge University UK says about the latest neuroscientific research on the mechanics of Motivation.
And the Super would not be alone. Most performance reviews systems have been designed without reference to what the neuroscientists are telling us.
I cause many an HR practitioner to raise their eyebrows when I suggest that most Performance Management systems emphasise the wrong thing.
Focus on performance that ‘has room for improvement’ or whatever muddying words the form might say, often engenders anxiety, even fear, for the recipient of such news, especially if salaries or promotions explicitly or implicitly depend on the Review.
And while it’s true that getting this feedback might induce short-term improvement, it’s unlikely to result in sustained motivation and commitment. The employee is more likely to be engaged in looking for a job elsewhere.
Our social brain is the driver
The research points to what is becoming more and more evident through Mobbs’ and other’s findings (and our own everyday lived experience) that the social environment is one of the most powerful contributors to how we perform.
I don’t mean how many morning teas we go to or drinks after work.
Rather if our workplace and the behaviours of others in it, appeals to the affiliation and feedback aspects of our social brain, we are more likely to try harder to consistently deliver up a good performance.
That’s because, for example as Mobbs says, when we:
* see those in our ‘in-group’ win
* help others and give advice
* work in a team
* hear people say nice things about us
the reward system in our brain is activated.
And we like to feel good, so we do more of whatever brings on that feeling.
Do you have leaders or troglodytes?
It is very easy to get seduced by the ‘system’ of Performance Management.
But like all change management strategies, if you want to bring about change, you need to focus on the benefit (the WIFM),the upsides for people to change their, often habitual, ways of doing things.
Our brains are hardwired to focus on things that scare us first – that’s The Almond Effect® in action – to make sure we take steps to survive.
But at work, life/death is not usually the issue – a positive environment and happiness is. Without them, employees and especially your best ones, simply go elsewhere for a job.
While many organisations are changing the structure and intent underpinning their performance management systems, you still need good leaders, not troglodytes like the TV Super, to implement them.
It’s a key leadership skill that is pivotal to motivating your people to perform to the best of their ability. And crucial to them being willing to change the way they do things.
So reflect for a moment: what does your performance management system emphasise and how well do your managers bring out the best in their teams?
And are you making sure that your organisation is utilizing the best means available to maximize the organisation’s results?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Do you worry about living up to expectations?
You may be a successful manager or competent team member with lots of runs on the board. Your future career is looking good.
But even so, do you still experience moments of doubt? Do you ask yourself: ‘Am I good enough for this role?’ 'Will I stuff this up because I’m not ready for it?'
Or even this: “!@#^!----i shouldn't have taken this on - I’m in way over my head!
And are you reluctant to ask for help because you think you’re expected to have the answers and that others will think less of you if you don’t?
Do you get annoyed because people assume you’re too young for the responsibility, or perhaps too old?
Do you wonder where the fearlessness you had in earlier times has gone to?
Are you limiting your career prospects?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you may be on track to sabotage your potential!
Linda Hill and Kent Lineback, their Jan/Feb 2011 Harvard Business Review article say this:
Such moments of doubt and even fear may and often do come despite years of management experience. Any number of events can trigger them.
They go on:
Most bosses reach a certain level of proficiency and stop there ...too many derail and fail to live up to their potential. Why? Because they stop working on themselves.
It’s The Almond Effect® at work
When we are new to our roles we are constantly on the lookout for derailers, things that can go wrong. But over time, as we become more settled and comfortable in the role, we worry far less. In some cases, complacency sets in.
But then something triggers off the doubts, the niggles, the concerns, the worries about self-competence and capability.
It can come out of the blue or simply be the result of too much to do, too little time or too many other stressors in your life.
And these derailers come from past experiences and events where things haven’t gone as planned either for you or you have seen it happen to others.
Over our lives, a huge number of these warning signs get stored in our brain which if we haven’t mastered the STAR technique, can show up at any time with miserable results.
Can you eliminate the triggers?
Because those triggers are always there, you have two choices: eliminate them or learn techniques to manage them before they control you.
So can you eliminate them?
There is a lot of research into this, particularly in the context of post-traumatic stress syndrome. What a relief it would be for sufferers if the traumatic memories could be eradicated.
There is no commercially available means to do this at present. And if there was, the ethical questions would be enormous? For example, could someone who goes through a divorce have the memory of their previous spouse erased?
You may have seen the romantic drama film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) where this was attempted!
The challenge is that if you delete a memory, you delete a part of someone’s life. And learning from our past experiences is the way that humans learn and grow.
Neuroscience not Hollywood
Neuroscientists are making progress towards techniques to selectively master that part of our brain, our amygdala, whose sole job is to ensure our survival. It does this by recording all the times when we have been under threat and letting us know or warning us when the same or similar situation is happening again.
Drs. Roger Clem and Richard Huganir most recent study on this has expounded on earlier work (e.g. by Joseph Le Doux) that there is a window of opportunity when memories can be ‘de-potentiated’.
Clem and Huganir discovered in mice that readily removable receptors (the main chemical sensors that detect messages sent from neuron to neuron in the amygdala) are only present for a few days after inducing fear, and peak at around one day.
So if the same thing happens in humans, this may well provide a window of opportunity for removal of the fear inducing receptors. And hey presto, bad memory gone.
However as you can see this is fraught with what ifs, hurdles and obstacles before it can become a reality. Does the same thing happen in humans? How long is the window of opportunity? How finely can we pinpoint the memory? What are the side effects of any drug or physical intervention to name just a few.
And then there are ethical dilemmas, too many to start on in this CLUES.
You need your amygdala
You may have read about the case of SM who experienced such damage to her amygdala that was associated not only with a decrease in the experience of fear, but the absence of fear altogether.
There is a Catch 22 of course. As the authors (Feinstein et al) of the study note:
“The unique case of patient SM provides a rare glimpse into the adverse consequences of living life without the amygdala. For SM, the consequences have been severe. Her behavior, time and time again, leads her back to the very situations she should be avoiding, highlighting the indispensable role that the amygdala plays in promoting survival by compelling the organism away from danger. Indeed, it appears that without the amygdala, the evolutionary value of fear is lost.”
The only remedy now
So until such time as the memory specific neuro-pharmaceuticals are as available as Xanax or Ativan, the best way to control your career derailers is to learn techniques such as mindfulness and STAR – Stop Think Act Rewire.
They are going to be far more use to you in the short term and enable you to be the great manager and team member you can be.
But even so, do you still experience moments of doubt? Do you ask yourself: ‘Am I good enough for this role?’ 'Will I stuff this up because I’m not ready for it?'
Or even this: “!@#^!----i shouldn't have taken this on - I’m in way over my head!
And are you reluctant to ask for help because you think you’re expected to have the answers and that others will think less of you if you don’t?
Do you get annoyed because people assume you’re too young for the responsibility, or perhaps too old?
Do you wonder where the fearlessness you had in earlier times has gone to?
Are you limiting your career prospects?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you may be on track to sabotage your potential!
Linda Hill and Kent Lineback, their Jan/Feb 2011 Harvard Business Review article say this:
Such moments of doubt and even fear may and often do come despite years of management experience. Any number of events can trigger them.
They go on:
Most bosses reach a certain level of proficiency and stop there ...too many derail and fail to live up to their potential. Why? Because they stop working on themselves.
It’s The Almond Effect® at work
When we are new to our roles we are constantly on the lookout for derailers, things that can go wrong. But over time, as we become more settled and comfortable in the role, we worry far less. In some cases, complacency sets in.
But then something triggers off the doubts, the niggles, the concerns, the worries about self-competence and capability.
It can come out of the blue or simply be the result of too much to do, too little time or too many other stressors in your life.
And these derailers come from past experiences and events where things haven’t gone as planned either for you or you have seen it happen to others.
Over our lives, a huge number of these warning signs get stored in our brain which if we haven’t mastered the STAR technique, can show up at any time with miserable results.
Can you eliminate the triggers?
Because those triggers are always there, you have two choices: eliminate them or learn techniques to manage them before they control you.
So can you eliminate them?
There is a lot of research into this, particularly in the context of post-traumatic stress syndrome. What a relief it would be for sufferers if the traumatic memories could be eradicated.
There is no commercially available means to do this at present. And if there was, the ethical questions would be enormous? For example, could someone who goes through a divorce have the memory of their previous spouse erased?
You may have seen the romantic drama film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) where this was attempted!
The challenge is that if you delete a memory, you delete a part of someone’s life. And learning from our past experiences is the way that humans learn and grow.
Neuroscience not Hollywood
Neuroscientists are making progress towards techniques to selectively master that part of our brain, our amygdala, whose sole job is to ensure our survival. It does this by recording all the times when we have been under threat and letting us know or warning us when the same or similar situation is happening again.
Drs. Roger Clem and Richard Huganir most recent study on this has expounded on earlier work (e.g. by Joseph Le Doux) that there is a window of opportunity when memories can be ‘de-potentiated’.
Clem and Huganir discovered in mice that readily removable receptors (the main chemical sensors that detect messages sent from neuron to neuron in the amygdala) are only present for a few days after inducing fear, and peak at around one day.
So if the same thing happens in humans, this may well provide a window of opportunity for removal of the fear inducing receptors. And hey presto, bad memory gone.
However as you can see this is fraught with what ifs, hurdles and obstacles before it can become a reality. Does the same thing happen in humans? How long is the window of opportunity? How finely can we pinpoint the memory? What are the side effects of any drug or physical intervention to name just a few.
And then there are ethical dilemmas, too many to start on in this CLUES.
You need your amygdala
You may have read about the case of SM who experienced such damage to her amygdala that was associated not only with a decrease in the experience of fear, but the absence of fear altogether.
There is a Catch 22 of course. As the authors (Feinstein et al) of the study note:
“The unique case of patient SM provides a rare glimpse into the adverse consequences of living life without the amygdala. For SM, the consequences have been severe. Her behavior, time and time again, leads her back to the very situations she should be avoiding, highlighting the indispensable role that the amygdala plays in promoting survival by compelling the organism away from danger. Indeed, it appears that without the amygdala, the evolutionary value of fear is lost.”
The only remedy now
So until such time as the memory specific neuro-pharmaceuticals are as available as Xanax or Ativan, the best way to control your career derailers is to learn techniques such as mindfulness and STAR – Stop Think Act Rewire.
They are going to be far more use to you in the short term and enable you to be the great manager and team member you can be.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Office Politics - ignore them at your peril
“Feeling resentment is like taking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”
Ponder those words. They are gold. Many have been credited with them but whoever said them originally was truly insightful.
How much resentment do you harbour? Especially at work. Is it harming the other person or just you?
Resentment causes heaps of stress yet so much stress at work is avoidable.
How? By understanding and dealing with the emotions and feelings that underpin office politics and developing an approach to minimise their negative impact on you.
I hate office politics
Many people say they don’t want to be involved in office politics. Is that you? Do you say ‘I loathe the politics’, ‘I avoid politics’, ‘I refuse to play politics?
If you do, that’s the equivalent of committing organisational suicide.
And if you are a manager, paying too much or too little attention to office politics means you had better start looking at the jobs vacant ads.
Poor engagement, increased internal competition, conflict, withholding of knowledge and information, lack of innovation, missed strategic opportunities, reduced productivity – these are just a few of the ramifications of not attending to negative political behaviour.
And we haven’t even begun to talk about the impact on health, morale, trust and faith in the leaders.
So what’s at the core of office politics?
Self-preservation. Survival in the corporate jungle. Protecting your status and resources. Mimicking the behaviours of others to get the results you want for yourself.
Here are some examples of office behaviour that people shared with me recently:
* ‘Blatant favouritism/nepotism displayed by the 'leader' of the team’
* ‘Taking credit for something they did not do’
* ‘Manager using aggressive language to intimidate others to achieve own agenda’
* ‘People are afraid to speak up & voice their true opinion at risk of losing their jobs’
* ‘Power play within management affecting the success of the project’
* ‘Insecure boss trying to dodge criticism by lying about his staff’
* ‘Non-communication of important information’
* ‘Bullying, intimidation, spreading untrue rumours’
* ‘Pitting employees against other employees’
* ‘Denial of involvement in something that didn't go as expected’
* ‘Instructed to withhold information from Board’
Why do we do it?
We have to go back to the era of hominids to understand why people continue to engage in back-stabbing, manipulation and the ‘dark side’ of engaging with others; why people still become fearful, anxious, suspicious and cynical.
As you know, I call it The Almond Effect®. It’s when our inbuilt human survival system mistakes what other people are doing in the office for an ambush of sabre-tooth tigers.
So we react biologically to the threat as if the people were killer animals - though we modify our behaviour to fit the work environment.
We respond with anger, gossip, poor performance, back-chatting, presenteeism and withdrawal of discretionary labour. We close our doors, roll our eyes, miss meetings, deliver poor customer service and challenge everything the boss wants us to change.
It’s hard to believe that human relationships have not evolved since the era of Neanderthals. But we clearly haven’t in some regards.
Tips to survive in the office jungle
Understanding and managing The Almond Effect® - it drives much of office politics - is the critical first step in successfully navigating your way through your organisation’s political environment.
That and some other important strategies to shore up your career.
Here are some:
If you are a manager:
* Examine your own contribution – ask yourself: ‘what would it be like to work for me?’
* Set the standard and walk your talk
* Do not tolerate bad behaviour even from your most productive people
* Delegate effectively and don't meddle
* Ensure accountability goes with responsibility
* Create psychological safety for your people to talk to you
And as an employee:
* Performance is not enough – you also need EQ
* Inter-personal relationship skills are essential
* Check: Are you consciously/ subconsciously a contributor to office politics?
* Manage your emotional brain
* Build credibility through visibility and integrity, not negativity
* Grow your networks
* Manage upwards
* Maintain perspective: fight only the battles that count and let stuff go
Ponder those words. They are gold. Many have been credited with them but whoever said them originally was truly insightful.
How much resentment do you harbour? Especially at work. Is it harming the other person or just you?
Resentment causes heaps of stress yet so much stress at work is avoidable.
How? By understanding and dealing with the emotions and feelings that underpin office politics and developing an approach to minimise their negative impact on you.
I hate office politics
Many people say they don’t want to be involved in office politics. Is that you? Do you say ‘I loathe the politics’, ‘I avoid politics’, ‘I refuse to play politics?
If you do, that’s the equivalent of committing organisational suicide.
And if you are a manager, paying too much or too little attention to office politics means you had better start looking at the jobs vacant ads.
Poor engagement, increased internal competition, conflict, withholding of knowledge and information, lack of innovation, missed strategic opportunities, reduced productivity – these are just a few of the ramifications of not attending to negative political behaviour.
And we haven’t even begun to talk about the impact on health, morale, trust and faith in the leaders.
So what’s at the core of office politics?
Self-preservation. Survival in the corporate jungle. Protecting your status and resources. Mimicking the behaviours of others to get the results you want for yourself.
Here are some examples of office behaviour that people shared with me recently:
* ‘Blatant favouritism/nepotism displayed by the 'leader' of the team’
* ‘Taking credit for something they did not do’
* ‘Manager using aggressive language to intimidate others to achieve own agenda’
* ‘People are afraid to speak up & voice their true opinion at risk of losing their jobs’
* ‘Power play within management affecting the success of the project’
* ‘Insecure boss trying to dodge criticism by lying about his staff’
* ‘Non-communication of important information’
* ‘Bullying, intimidation, spreading untrue rumours’
* ‘Pitting employees against other employees’
* ‘Denial of involvement in something that didn't go as expected’
* ‘Instructed to withhold information from Board’
Why do we do it?
We have to go back to the era of hominids to understand why people continue to engage in back-stabbing, manipulation and the ‘dark side’ of engaging with others; why people still become fearful, anxious, suspicious and cynical.
As you know, I call it The Almond Effect®. It’s when our inbuilt human survival system mistakes what other people are doing in the office for an ambush of sabre-tooth tigers.
So we react biologically to the threat as if the people were killer animals - though we modify our behaviour to fit the work environment.
We respond with anger, gossip, poor performance, back-chatting, presenteeism and withdrawal of discretionary labour. We close our doors, roll our eyes, miss meetings, deliver poor customer service and challenge everything the boss wants us to change.
It’s hard to believe that human relationships have not evolved since the era of Neanderthals. But we clearly haven’t in some regards.
Tips to survive in the office jungle
Understanding and managing The Almond Effect® - it drives much of office politics - is the critical first step in successfully navigating your way through your organisation’s political environment.
That and some other important strategies to shore up your career.
Here are some:
If you are a manager:
* Examine your own contribution – ask yourself: ‘what would it be like to work for me?’
* Set the standard and walk your talk
* Do not tolerate bad behaviour even from your most productive people
* Delegate effectively and don't meddle
* Ensure accountability goes with responsibility
* Create psychological safety for your people to talk to you
And as an employee:
* Performance is not enough – you also need EQ
* Inter-personal relationship skills are essential
* Check: Are you consciously/ subconsciously a contributor to office politics?
* Manage your emotional brain
* Build credibility through visibility and integrity, not negativity
* Grow your networks
* Manage upwards
* Maintain perspective: fight only the battles that count and let stuff go
Friday, December 17, 2010
She broke my heart
You damage your health if you don't have social relationships according to Matt Liebermann.
At the 2010 Mind and Its Potential Conference, Liebermann said the damage was equivalent to smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.
In fact, he said, sociality is not an accident – it is ancient and by design.
We had and still have a much better chance of survival if we are not alone.
It still holds true today
Think of how animals hunt – they search for and pounce on the loner, the one separated from the group.
And reflect on the language we use as we encourage people to sign up to our point of view or pitch: “there’s strength in numbers”; “we can’t go this alone”.
Consider also the stories of babies who don’t thrive when they are deprived of social connection. Click here for one commentary that reflects on what happens.
Amygdala can’t tell the difference
So if sociality is critical to our survival, perhaps that’s the explanation why our amygdala can’t tell the difference between social pain and a threat to our physical existence.
The Almond Effect® is all about that – our bodies jumping into survival mode, fight, flight, flock or freeze, when our amygdala perceive an emotional or mental threat (e.g. your boss’s raised voice, an irate customer, the exclusion by the team, running late for a critical meeting), yet none of these are likely to result in us being wounded or injured physically.
The way we talk about social pain reinforces our amygdala’s inability to discriminate. We use the language of physical pain: “She broke my heart, you hurt my feelings, I’m gutted.”
Learn to accept the things you can't change
There are many tools we can use to manage the social pain we feel, The Almond Effect®, both at work and beyond.
One critical tool for me is the use of acceptance.
So for example, one of the best ways to deal with ongoing challenges at work, is to accept that work will never be completely harmonious and free from irritations and politics. To believe it will, is simply living in a false reality.
I came across these words ascribed to Fr Alfred D’Szouza. They sit above my desk and I reflect upon them daily to help me accept and deal with social pain and my ‘almonds’. I hope you find them useful too.
For a long time it had seemed to me
That life was about to begin – real life;
But there was always some obstacle
in the way.
Something to be got through first.
Some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me
that these obstacles were my life.
Then you can move on
In other words, once you have accepted the situation, you can do something about it.
There will be more about strategies on how to do that in future CLUES.
At the 2010 Mind and Its Potential Conference, Liebermann said the damage was equivalent to smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.
In fact, he said, sociality is not an accident – it is ancient and by design.
We had and still have a much better chance of survival if we are not alone.
It still holds true today
Think of how animals hunt – they search for and pounce on the loner, the one separated from the group.
And reflect on the language we use as we encourage people to sign up to our point of view or pitch: “there’s strength in numbers”; “we can’t go this alone”.
Consider also the stories of babies who don’t thrive when they are deprived of social connection. Click here for one commentary that reflects on what happens.
Amygdala can’t tell the difference
So if sociality is critical to our survival, perhaps that’s the explanation why our amygdala can’t tell the difference between social pain and a threat to our physical existence.
The Almond Effect® is all about that – our bodies jumping into survival mode, fight, flight, flock or freeze, when our amygdala perceive an emotional or mental threat (e.g. your boss’s raised voice, an irate customer, the exclusion by the team, running late for a critical meeting), yet none of these are likely to result in us being wounded or injured physically.
The way we talk about social pain reinforces our amygdala’s inability to discriminate. We use the language of physical pain: “She broke my heart, you hurt my feelings, I’m gutted.”
Learn to accept the things you can't change
There are many tools we can use to manage the social pain we feel, The Almond Effect®, both at work and beyond.
One critical tool for me is the use of acceptance.
So for example, one of the best ways to deal with ongoing challenges at work, is to accept that work will never be completely harmonious and free from irritations and politics. To believe it will, is simply living in a false reality.
I came across these words ascribed to Fr Alfred D’Szouza. They sit above my desk and I reflect upon them daily to help me accept and deal with social pain and my ‘almonds’. I hope you find them useful too.
For a long time it had seemed to me
That life was about to begin – real life;
But there was always some obstacle
in the way.
Something to be got through first.
Some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me
that these obstacles were my life.
Then you can move on
In other words, once you have accepted the situation, you can do something about it.
There will be more about strategies on how to do that in future CLUES.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Geoff Huegill triumphs over depression
Do you feel uncomfortable talking to a colleague about their mental wellbeing?
Why are we so fearful to ask someone if they are OK? Or to say that we notice that they seem a bit down and is there is something they'd like to talk to you about?
We don't hesitate if they have a sniffle, a limp or a black eye. But a concern about someone's mental state is often too hot to handle.
We usually tell ourselves that it is none of our business. Or "what if I open up a can of worms?"
Of course it's your amygdala talking, The Almond Effect, holding you back because it's feeling threatened about what a well meaning question might lead to.
Each year, undiagnosed depression in the workplace costs $4.3 billion in lost productivity and this excludes Workcover/insurance claims, part-time or casual employees, retrenchment, recruitment and training.
In addition to absenteeism, depression accounts for more than 12 million days of reduced productivity each year.
The World Health Organization expects Depression to be the second leading cause of disability after heart disease by 2020
But depression can be overcome. And you can play a part in that recovery by not being afraid to have the conversation.
This is all leading me to say warmest congratulations to Geoff Huegill who was awarded 2010 Sports Performer of the Year.
Geoff has experienced depression. He talks about it - a key strategy.
Another of his strategies to overcome depression was exercise - and his reward was to win the Gold Medal in the 100 metre butterfly at the Commonwealth Games and another in the 4 by 100m relay!
Geoff is an Ambassador for the Black Dog Institute, the same organisation for which I am a volunteer Community Education Presenter on Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
He also has a great smile (and abs!)
Don't let The Almond Effect stop you lending an ear to the 1 in 5 Australians who suffer, sometimes in a very lonely way, from this very common challenge. The person you talk to may not win a Commonwealth Gold Medal but be assured that they would want to give you one.
Why are we so fearful to ask someone if they are OK? Or to say that we notice that they seem a bit down and is there is something they'd like to talk to you about?
We don't hesitate if they have a sniffle, a limp or a black eye. But a concern about someone's mental state is often too hot to handle.
We usually tell ourselves that it is none of our business. Or "what if I open up a can of worms?"
Of course it's your amygdala talking, The Almond Effect, holding you back because it's feeling threatened about what a well meaning question might lead to.
Each year, undiagnosed depression in the workplace costs $4.3 billion in lost productivity and this excludes Workcover/insurance claims, part-time or casual employees, retrenchment, recruitment and training.
In addition to absenteeism, depression accounts for more than 12 million days of reduced productivity each year.
The World Health Organization expects Depression to be the second leading cause of disability after heart disease by 2020
But depression can be overcome. And you can play a part in that recovery by not being afraid to have the conversation.
This is all leading me to say warmest congratulations to Geoff Huegill who was awarded 2010 Sports Performer of the Year.
Geoff has experienced depression. He talks about it - a key strategy.
Another of his strategies to overcome depression was exercise - and his reward was to win the Gold Medal in the 100 metre butterfly at the Commonwealth Games and another in the 4 by 100m relay!
Geoff is an Ambassador for the Black Dog Institute, the same organisation for which I am a volunteer Community Education Presenter on Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
He also has a great smile (and abs!)
Don't let The Almond Effect stop you lending an ear to the 1 in 5 Australians who suffer, sometimes in a very lonely way, from this very common challenge. The person you talk to may not win a Commonwealth Gold Medal but be assured that they would want to give you one.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Why Don't you quit your job?
Well, why don't you??
Sorry – only joking!
But seriously, how many of you want to quit your job and get another but are procrastinating for some reason?
“It’s not the right time, I’ve just come back from leave, they were really understanding when my mother died, they were generous when we had our baby, I don’t want to let my team down, I’d feel like a rat leaving a sinking ship. What would I do? What else can I do? I’m too old or not old enough, haven’t got enough experience, am overqualified, they paid for my Masters, my boss would bad mouth me etc. I will do it soon.”
Any of those phrases resonate with you? Any of them come from you?
Why are you holding back?
The problem with suffering this dilemma is that you are probably unhappy, getting grumpy with your family, are dissatisfied with what you are achieving, hate going to work, feeling stressed and tense and not performing in your job to the best of your ability.
In the worst case scenarios, you could end up alienating the people at work who you want to ask to give you a reference or even precipitate some performance management counselling. At the least you are increasing your chances of a stress induced illness.
What’s holding you back?
It’s probably The Almond Effect® - your inbuilt human survival system is mistaking the thought of changing jobs for an ambush of sabre-tooth tigers and showing up as avoidance, delay, excuses – in other words, you’re resisting change and finding plenty of valid reasons to do so. Is that you?
Have you changed jobs before?
If you’ve moved on to other roles in the past, please think about how that worked out.
You might have been unlucky and it was not a good move. If that is the case, then the STAR suggestions are definitely for you.
If you have successfully changed jobs in the past, then in addition to STAR, think about what is the same about your current situation and what is different?
What was good about the previous move? What wasn’t? What were you afraid of then, if anything, and how is that different to this time? What can you build on out of that past experience?
Use the STAR approach to sort this out
Stop: You have to find a circuit breaker to stop the worry words from dominating your thought process.
Curiously the best way to do this is to focus on the feelings you have and put a name to what you actually are experiencing.
I have created two Wordles to help you choose the words: one is of positive emotion words and the other of negative ones.
Naming your emotion calms down your amygdala and engages your pre-frontal cortex.
Then you can...
Think: Once you’ve put your ‘almonds’ on hold, now think carefully about why you are feeling the way you are.
What evidence is there to say that the feeling is justified? If there is evidence, how much have you developed personally since the last time?
Considerably I am sure and now you are much better able to manage the situation and any negative impacts that you went through last time you changed jobs.
You stand a better chance of managing your emotions if you ...
Act: Take some steps. Set aside time to update your resume. Let me know if you would like the name of someone who can help you with this.
Next, cut out or print some job ads that could interest you. Study them and highlight the parts of the job that really interest you, that you can already do and the parts that would challenge you. Make sure there are plenty of the latter.
Then start applying.
Rewire: Every time you have either an interview that doesn’t go so well or a ‘not at this time’ note, review what you are doing well and what you can do differently.
If you take the time to do this and focus on thinking about and repeating the actions that are working for you, you’ll strengthen those new synaptic connections which will make the whole change job process easier each time.
You can’t erase the fear yet
Neuroscientists are getting closer every day to understanding how our amygdalae work and how it will be possible to eradicate bad memories.
When they can do that, we’ll have the ethical question about whether we can have some neuro-cosmetic intervention to allow us to selectively inhibit our responses to certain stimuli.
Until then, if you are unhappy in your job or simply need to move on for more experience, more money and/or a fresh challenge, don’t let The Almond Effect® stop you.
It evolved for us to stave off real predators not the ones you imagine will jump out at you when you hand in your notice.
Sorry – only joking!
But seriously, how many of you want to quit your job and get another but are procrastinating for some reason?
“It’s not the right time, I’ve just come back from leave, they were really understanding when my mother died, they were generous when we had our baby, I don’t want to let my team down, I’d feel like a rat leaving a sinking ship. What would I do? What else can I do? I’m too old or not old enough, haven’t got enough experience, am overqualified, they paid for my Masters, my boss would bad mouth me etc. I will do it soon.”
Any of those phrases resonate with you? Any of them come from you?
Why are you holding back?
The problem with suffering this dilemma is that you are probably unhappy, getting grumpy with your family, are dissatisfied with what you are achieving, hate going to work, feeling stressed and tense and not performing in your job to the best of your ability.
In the worst case scenarios, you could end up alienating the people at work who you want to ask to give you a reference or even precipitate some performance management counselling. At the least you are increasing your chances of a stress induced illness.
What’s holding you back?
It’s probably The Almond Effect® - your inbuilt human survival system is mistaking the thought of changing jobs for an ambush of sabre-tooth tigers and showing up as avoidance, delay, excuses – in other words, you’re resisting change and finding plenty of valid reasons to do so. Is that you?
Have you changed jobs before?
If you’ve moved on to other roles in the past, please think about how that worked out.
You might have been unlucky and it was not a good move. If that is the case, then the STAR suggestions are definitely for you.
If you have successfully changed jobs in the past, then in addition to STAR, think about what is the same about your current situation and what is different?
What was good about the previous move? What wasn’t? What were you afraid of then, if anything, and how is that different to this time? What can you build on out of that past experience?
Use the STAR approach to sort this out
Stop: You have to find a circuit breaker to stop the worry words from dominating your thought process.
Curiously the best way to do this is to focus on the feelings you have and put a name to what you actually are experiencing.
I have created two Wordles to help you choose the words: one is of positive emotion words and the other of negative ones.
Naming your emotion calms down your amygdala and engages your pre-frontal cortex.
Then you can...
Think: Once you’ve put your ‘almonds’ on hold, now think carefully about why you are feeling the way you are.
What evidence is there to say that the feeling is justified? If there is evidence, how much have you developed personally since the last time?
Considerably I am sure and now you are much better able to manage the situation and any negative impacts that you went through last time you changed jobs.
You stand a better chance of managing your emotions if you ...
Act: Take some steps. Set aside time to update your resume. Let me know if you would like the name of someone who can help you with this.
Next, cut out or print some job ads that could interest you. Study them and highlight the parts of the job that really interest you, that you can already do and the parts that would challenge you. Make sure there are plenty of the latter.
Then start applying.
Rewire: Every time you have either an interview that doesn’t go so well or a ‘not at this time’ note, review what you are doing well and what you can do differently.
If you take the time to do this and focus on thinking about and repeating the actions that are working for you, you’ll strengthen those new synaptic connections which will make the whole change job process easier each time.
You can’t erase the fear yet
Neuroscientists are getting closer every day to understanding how our amygdalae work and how it will be possible to eradicate bad memories.
When they can do that, we’ll have the ethical question about whether we can have some neuro-cosmetic intervention to allow us to selectively inhibit our responses to certain stimuli.
Until then, if you are unhappy in your job or simply need to move on for more experience, more money and/or a fresh challenge, don’t let The Almond Effect® stop you.
It evolved for us to stave off real predators not the ones you imagine will jump out at you when you hand in your notice.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Don't do your Inbox
What do you do first when you get to work? Do you go straight to your email or do you start on the toughest project that you have to do?
Most of us open the Inbox.
And there’s a good reason why.
Other than the size of it, usually an Inbox is low threat. It needs nowhere near as much brain energy as the big project and we get an instant sense of satisfaction as we delete, delete, delete and clear lots of messages.
And if you ever near the bottom of your inbox – wow, now that’s a buzz.
Your amygdala prefers the Inbox
But why do we do things in that order? You guessed it; it’s The Almond Effect®. We put off the demanding projects because there is much more riding on it than clearing the Inbox.
The project is demanding - we have to focus, concentrate, solve problems and create solutions. And that’s stressful.
In other words, your amygdala senses the project as a threat (The Almond Effect®) so to avoid the threat, you do the non-threatening things first i.e. your Inbox.
Brain drain
The problem with that approach is that even though you are taking the relatively unstressful course of doing your email, you are using up brain energy leaving you less fresh to handle the project when you’ve got no other reason to procrastinate.
Now our brains only have so much capacity before the glucose runs low and our ability to think clearly and innovatively is compromised. Then we have to take a rest and eat or drink sugar.
And our brains will naturally channel our activities to save brain energy where possible – not only is it hard work to use the working memory in our brain but we might need the energy for later when the sabre-tooth tiger appears in our office or home :)
The same thing happens when we need to change – ourselves or others. We put it off because our amygdala senses a threat i.e. it's The Almond Effect®. Unless we think about it and alter the course of action, our brain will guide us to less challenging things first. And before you know it, the day’s simply disappeared and it’s time to go home!
How was your day?
So think about your day. What did you do first when you were fresh, alert and your brain was full of glucose and ready to go? Did you do the tough stuff or did your amygdala take over and guide you to an easy task first to defer the threat?
Try this
Here are some suggestions that might help you do the hard things first – and it’s all about being mindful about what you do and think:
1. Monitor your usual patterns of behaviour to find out (or simply confirm) when you tackle the more mentally demanding work. Do you do it at your freshest or does your amygdala sabotage you in some way?
2. Be very clear about your short and long term goals – make sure the way you do your work is congruent with your objectives
3. Don’t impose the need to be perfect on yourself
4. Watch what you’re saying to yourself mentally e.g. it’s really hard; I need a clear run; I’ll just stuff it up if I start now; I’ll have plenty of time tomorrow; it won’t be any good; I’m just not ready to do it; etc. etc
5. Don’t let your sensitivities and fears hold you back from doing something
6. Break the hard task down into small steps e.g. just do 150 words on it; or cover off on item 1 of the project
7. Give yourself congratulations for the small steps as well as the big ones.
Almonds all around us
The Almond Effect® catches us out in so many ways. It’s not just the big things eg: the fear of restructure, the presentation you have to give or the boss wanting to see you. It’s not just your daughter not coming home when she said she would. There are myriads of everyday occurrences when our amygdalae cause us to do something that is simply not the best course of action if you were to think about it.
So next time you go to your Inbox, just ask yourself if it’s the best time to be doing it? Or are you are putting off doing something that would benefit from the energy you are using up on reading chain mail, the ‘cc’s and pressing the delete button?
If you answered yes to the second question, you know what to do next!
Most of us open the Inbox.
And there’s a good reason why.
Other than the size of it, usually an Inbox is low threat. It needs nowhere near as much brain energy as the big project and we get an instant sense of satisfaction as we delete, delete, delete and clear lots of messages.
And if you ever near the bottom of your inbox – wow, now that’s a buzz.
Your amygdala prefers the Inbox
But why do we do things in that order? You guessed it; it’s The Almond Effect®. We put off the demanding projects because there is much more riding on it than clearing the Inbox.
The project is demanding - we have to focus, concentrate, solve problems and create solutions. And that’s stressful.
In other words, your amygdala senses the project as a threat (The Almond Effect®) so to avoid the threat, you do the non-threatening things first i.e. your Inbox.
Brain drain
The problem with that approach is that even though you are taking the relatively unstressful course of doing your email, you are using up brain energy leaving you less fresh to handle the project when you’ve got no other reason to procrastinate.
Now our brains only have so much capacity before the glucose runs low and our ability to think clearly and innovatively is compromised. Then we have to take a rest and eat or drink sugar.
And our brains will naturally channel our activities to save brain energy where possible – not only is it hard work to use the working memory in our brain but we might need the energy for later when the sabre-tooth tiger appears in our office or home :)
The same thing happens when we need to change – ourselves or others. We put it off because our amygdala senses a threat i.e. it's The Almond Effect®. Unless we think about it and alter the course of action, our brain will guide us to less challenging things first. And before you know it, the day’s simply disappeared and it’s time to go home!
How was your day?
So think about your day. What did you do first when you were fresh, alert and your brain was full of glucose and ready to go? Did you do the tough stuff or did your amygdala take over and guide you to an easy task first to defer the threat?
Try this
Here are some suggestions that might help you do the hard things first – and it’s all about being mindful about what you do and think:
1. Monitor your usual patterns of behaviour to find out (or simply confirm) when you tackle the more mentally demanding work. Do you do it at your freshest or does your amygdala sabotage you in some way?
2. Be very clear about your short and long term goals – make sure the way you do your work is congruent with your objectives
3. Don’t impose the need to be perfect on yourself
4. Watch what you’re saying to yourself mentally e.g. it’s really hard; I need a clear run; I’ll just stuff it up if I start now; I’ll have plenty of time tomorrow; it won’t be any good; I’m just not ready to do it; etc. etc
5. Don’t let your sensitivities and fears hold you back from doing something
6. Break the hard task down into small steps e.g. just do 150 words on it; or cover off on item 1 of the project
7. Give yourself congratulations for the small steps as well as the big ones.
Almonds all around us
The Almond Effect® catches us out in so many ways. It’s not just the big things eg: the fear of restructure, the presentation you have to give or the boss wanting to see you. It’s not just your daughter not coming home when she said she would. There are myriads of everyday occurrences when our amygdalae cause us to do something that is simply not the best course of action if you were to think about it.
So next time you go to your Inbox, just ask yourself if it’s the best time to be doing it? Or are you are putting off doing something that would benefit from the energy you are using up on reading chain mail, the ‘cc’s and pressing the delete button?
If you answered yes to the second question, you know what to do next!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sit still for a minute!
My life as a comma
I find it hard to sit still. My mind is always buzzing. The moment I sit down I usually jump up again because I think of things I’ve forgotten to do, can’t forget to do or have to do at that moment. When I do sit down, my husband says it’s just a comma in my life!
In fact, unless I am on holiday I feel really uncomfortable, even guilty, just sitting down to read a magazine or novel. And watch a movie or TV during the day? It would be simpler, emotionally, to fly to the moon.
Can you relate to that? What is it that drives this behaviour? And what implications does it have, not only for rest and recharging but also for creative thinking time.
And how does this spill over into our lives at work? How can we be energized and efficient, reflective and strategic if we don’t sit still long enough to let thoughts percolate? How can we build trusting relationships with the team around us if we don’t stay still long enough to be emotionally engaged in the relationship?
The boss who never stops
I thought about Peter. He was a man I worked with many years ago. Peter arrived in the office at 7.30am and was usually the last to leave. He was always on the go – visible, active, always busy but he didn’t get the results that we anticipated. And his relations with his team were poor.
That made me think about a CEO I worked with for a number of years. Let’s call him Simon. Simon was another of those people always on the move. Yet i spent most of that time trying to get him to stay out of the operational areas and focus on being ‘emotionally’ available to his executive team. The challenge was that his comfort zone was in the operational area where he had excelled and charted his very successful career.
Our boss didn’t know us
To put it bluntly, he was shy and uncomfortable talking to people who weren’t his buddies. And it showed. His staff meetings and presentations made us all see and feel his discomfort. He shared plenty of facts and figures, strategy, plans for the future and intelligence about what the competition was up to.
But he never engaged us on a personal level. We didn’t know anything about Simon. And we certainly didn’t believe he knew anything about us.
As a result, people switched off, felt uninspired and did not feel they could raise questions that were on their minds. Simon lacked personal credibility as a leader even though he was a smart and likeable man and a great engineer. Inevitably the good people took their ambitions, ideas and innovative ‘what if’s’ elsewhere and the organization lost serious intellectual capital.
If only Simon had taken the time to get to know people personally, share stories, paid attention to their individual needs, goals and aspirations, helped them overcome their concerns and encouraged and rewarded their enthusiasm. And as a leader, that was his job.
Guilt in the home
I also thought about two women I am close to – a friend and a family member. One works extraordinarily long hours (over 13 hours a day) in a very senior role, then spends almost all of her non-working time looking after her young daughter. Yet she feels guilty if she reads a magazine for 5 minutes or takes time to exercise.
The other woman has just had an operation to remove a cancerous growth. 48 hours after the operation, she is feeling guilty because her pain and exhaustion mean she has to sit still.
Too much activity can sabotage us
As a leader and change catalyst, engendering trust, building relationships, listening to others and garnering emotional commitment are mission critical skills. How else can we get our people on board with cost cutting, streamlining processes, with changing or eliminating practices and behaviours they know and are comfortable with? How else can we excite their curiosity and passion about a new version of the future and what it might mean for them?
Three fundamental of successful change
ChangeTrack Research (CT0508] has identified three fundamentals of successful change:
* Change must make a positive difference to the bottom line
* Trust in leaders. If it evaporates, change falls over
* There is no such thing as ‘one size fits all’
So while Simon and Peter were setting out to achieve the first, their inability or unwillingness to be ‘still’, to be in relationship with their people long enough to work on the other two fundamentals, meant that neither they, nor the companies, achieved their full potential.
What drives this behaviour?
Perhaps it’s a gene and generational thing. I recall my mother, who never sat still herself, made sure that we were always doing something. Sitting and reading was only permissible if it was homework and all the housework was done (almost an impossibility). That’s my recollection yet it’s probably faulty because we now know that each time we recall a memory, we refashion it into the new context. That’s both the ‘beauty and the beast’ of neuro-plasticity.
But unless and until we examine our behaviour drivers, we simply keep doing them and they become ingrained, habitual and hard to change. Even though I know that the implications I draw from my memory may not be accurate, the ‘guilt’ attached to sitting still feels real.
Visibility at work
And at work, what do we value? What have we habitually valued over the years? Even though organisations now talk about focus on outcomes and results, how many managers do you know, still feel uncomfortable if someone is not in the workplace, is working from home, seems to be spending a lot of time talking to others or conversely doesn’t seem to be doing very much at all? Why aren’t they DOING something!
The Almond Effect®
Of course I suspect our Amygdala is also involved in this. So I ask what are we anxious (fearful) about that conjures this need to be constantly on the move and suspect others who aren’t.
As we have discussed many times, The Almond Effect® is when our amygdala triggers reactions to perceived threats that are simply psychological not physical. It doesn’t make it any less real of course.
And thoughts are just that. They are simply constructs in our brains. We can change those thoughts and the feelings and behaviours that go with them. We can apply STAR to these behaviours:
* Stop and catch yourself moving, moving, moving whether it be in your mind or your body
* Think about what’s driving your behaviour and what would be the consequences if you were ‘still’ and reflective for a period
* Act differently – set goals for how long you will be 'still' and 'present' for others
* Rewire – ask yourself if anything disastrous happened when you did reach your goal and stayed ‘still’ whether in mind or body. When you realize it didn’t, rewire that insight and reflection into your memory.
My goal
So I have just been still for the last couple of hours writing this CLUES. Admittedly I am on a plane so that may have an influence! But I am practicing what I preach and am re-training myself to be still both in my mind and body, in the office and at home.
Practicing Mindfulness is one part of that strategy and we will come back to Mindfulness, its role in focusing attention and controlling stress and anxiety (The Almond Effect®) in another CLUES. In the meantime the goal I’m aiming for? That my husband tells me I’ve progressed from a comma to a semi-colon and ultimately to a page break!
I find it hard to sit still. My mind is always buzzing. The moment I sit down I usually jump up again because I think of things I’ve forgotten to do, can’t forget to do or have to do at that moment. When I do sit down, my husband says it’s just a comma in my life!
In fact, unless I am on holiday I feel really uncomfortable, even guilty, just sitting down to read a magazine or novel. And watch a movie or TV during the day? It would be simpler, emotionally, to fly to the moon.
Can you relate to that? What is it that drives this behaviour? And what implications does it have, not only for rest and recharging but also for creative thinking time.
And how does this spill over into our lives at work? How can we be energized and efficient, reflective and strategic if we don’t sit still long enough to let thoughts percolate? How can we build trusting relationships with the team around us if we don’t stay still long enough to be emotionally engaged in the relationship?
The boss who never stops
I thought about Peter. He was a man I worked with many years ago. Peter arrived in the office at 7.30am and was usually the last to leave. He was always on the go – visible, active, always busy but he didn’t get the results that we anticipated. And his relations with his team were poor.
That made me think about a CEO I worked with for a number of years. Let’s call him Simon. Simon was another of those people always on the move. Yet i spent most of that time trying to get him to stay out of the operational areas and focus on being ‘emotionally’ available to his executive team. The challenge was that his comfort zone was in the operational area where he had excelled and charted his very successful career.
Our boss didn’t know us
To put it bluntly, he was shy and uncomfortable talking to people who weren’t his buddies. And it showed. His staff meetings and presentations made us all see and feel his discomfort. He shared plenty of facts and figures, strategy, plans for the future and intelligence about what the competition was up to.
But he never engaged us on a personal level. We didn’t know anything about Simon. And we certainly didn’t believe he knew anything about us.
As a result, people switched off, felt uninspired and did not feel they could raise questions that were on their minds. Simon lacked personal credibility as a leader even though he was a smart and likeable man and a great engineer. Inevitably the good people took their ambitions, ideas and innovative ‘what if’s’ elsewhere and the organization lost serious intellectual capital.
If only Simon had taken the time to get to know people personally, share stories, paid attention to their individual needs, goals and aspirations, helped them overcome their concerns and encouraged and rewarded their enthusiasm. And as a leader, that was his job.
Guilt in the home
I also thought about two women I am close to – a friend and a family member. One works extraordinarily long hours (over 13 hours a day) in a very senior role, then spends almost all of her non-working time looking after her young daughter. Yet she feels guilty if she reads a magazine for 5 minutes or takes time to exercise.
The other woman has just had an operation to remove a cancerous growth. 48 hours after the operation, she is feeling guilty because her pain and exhaustion mean she has to sit still.
Too much activity can sabotage us
As a leader and change catalyst, engendering trust, building relationships, listening to others and garnering emotional commitment are mission critical skills. How else can we get our people on board with cost cutting, streamlining processes, with changing or eliminating practices and behaviours they know and are comfortable with? How else can we excite their curiosity and passion about a new version of the future and what it might mean for them?
Three fundamental of successful change
ChangeTrack Research (CT0508] has identified three fundamentals of successful change:
* Change must make a positive difference to the bottom line
* Trust in leaders. If it evaporates, change falls over
* There is no such thing as ‘one size fits all’
So while Simon and Peter were setting out to achieve the first, their inability or unwillingness to be ‘still’, to be in relationship with their people long enough to work on the other two fundamentals, meant that neither they, nor the companies, achieved their full potential.
What drives this behaviour?
Perhaps it’s a gene and generational thing. I recall my mother, who never sat still herself, made sure that we were always doing something. Sitting and reading was only permissible if it was homework and all the housework was done (almost an impossibility). That’s my recollection yet it’s probably faulty because we now know that each time we recall a memory, we refashion it into the new context. That’s both the ‘beauty and the beast’ of neuro-plasticity.
But unless and until we examine our behaviour drivers, we simply keep doing them and they become ingrained, habitual and hard to change. Even though I know that the implications I draw from my memory may not be accurate, the ‘guilt’ attached to sitting still feels real.
Visibility at work
And at work, what do we value? What have we habitually valued over the years? Even though organisations now talk about focus on outcomes and results, how many managers do you know, still feel uncomfortable if someone is not in the workplace, is working from home, seems to be spending a lot of time talking to others or conversely doesn’t seem to be doing very much at all? Why aren’t they DOING something!
The Almond Effect®
Of course I suspect our Amygdala is also involved in this. So I ask what are we anxious (fearful) about that conjures this need to be constantly on the move and suspect others who aren’t.
As we have discussed many times, The Almond Effect® is when our amygdala triggers reactions to perceived threats that are simply psychological not physical. It doesn’t make it any less real of course.
And thoughts are just that. They are simply constructs in our brains. We can change those thoughts and the feelings and behaviours that go with them. We can apply STAR to these behaviours:
* Stop and catch yourself moving, moving, moving whether it be in your mind or your body
* Think about what’s driving your behaviour and what would be the consequences if you were ‘still’ and reflective for a period
* Act differently – set goals for how long you will be 'still' and 'present' for others
* Rewire – ask yourself if anything disastrous happened when you did reach your goal and stayed ‘still’ whether in mind or body. When you realize it didn’t, rewire that insight and reflection into your memory.
My goal
So I have just been still for the last couple of hours writing this CLUES. Admittedly I am on a plane so that may have an influence! But I am practicing what I preach and am re-training myself to be still both in my mind and body, in the office and at home.
Practicing Mindfulness is one part of that strategy and we will come back to Mindfulness, its role in focusing attention and controlling stress and anxiety (The Almond Effect®) in another CLUES. In the meantime the goal I’m aiming for? That my husband tells me I’ve progressed from a comma to a semi-colon and ultimately to a page break!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Do you trust your memory? Perhaps you shouldn't
I was chatting with some friends over a lovely Sunday BBQ lunch a couple of weekends back. It was a gorgeous Sydney day – warm, not too hot or humid, the bluest sky you ever saw and only a gentle breeze rustling of the leaves on the gum trees around us.
One of my friends started to tell us all about seeing a couple having an argument in a restaurant. As the story unfolded, his wife who had been in the restaurant with him, started to ‘correct’ him, saying things like: ‘no, she was the one who thumped the table, not him’ and ‘no, you’ve got it wrong, he stormed out first, not her’.
Sadly our friends then started to argue between themselves about who had the correct recollection. Initially they each adamantly believed that they had the right version. Eventually the husband changed his mind and agreed that his wife’s version was correct and that his initial thoughts were wrong.
Now some of you are thinking – of course he’d give in to his wife!
This might be a serious problem
But is this a familiar scenario? i.e. people witness the same event or discussion but their recall and memories of it differ.
Perhaps you’ve even doubted your own memory of what you saw or heard. Yet after talking to other witnesses, you may have changed your mind about what you saw or heard and genuinely agree with and adopt the other version as your own.
That what happened in 1995 during the investigation of the Oklahoma Bombing. You may recall that one witness Tom Kessinger initially said that Timothy McVeigh had an accomplice. Other ‘witnesses’ who had talked with Kessinger and others agreed and this sparked a huge hunt and expenditure in time and resources for the non-existent John Doe No.2.
Kessinger later testified that he was mistaken. There was no accomplice.
Dr Helen Paterson from the University of Sydney is exploring the ramifications of memory recall in the context of contaminated witness testimony in court cases.
You can listen to her talk about her research here. It goes to the heart of witness reliability and may have very serious implications for veracity of evidence from witnesses in trials especially criminal matters where innocence or guilt is determined.
Memories are not fixed
Memories are retrieved usually with the help of some cues – that’s where the problems of The Almond Effect® come in!
And the old thinking was that memories were stable and permanent. All that happened was that they faded with time.
But research has shown that memories are much more malleable and impressionable than that.
So the challenge is that we may not even be recalling accurate memories. Our memories may have become contaminated. For example by taking on other people’s versions of events?
Why can this happen? Well we now know that memories are simply reconstructions. And as such they can be adjusted, changed, tampered with.
False Memories
At one end of the spectrum there is the psychological condition known as False Memory Syndrome. This is where someone has a memory which is a distortion of an actual experience, or a confabulation of an imagined one. Many false memories involve confusing or mixing fragments of memory events, some of which may have happened at different times but which are remembered as occurring together.
However in our day to day lives, we experience this shifting in our memories as simply not quite an accurate reconstruction. For example, we can forget things, include things, ‘remember’ the event as being bigger, smaller, more dramatic, less dramatic, and declare that the fish was over a metre long!
And neuroscientists also tell us that our recall can grow or diminish under the influence of other people’s remembrances.
So what?
We have talked before about the role of ‘history’ in leading change. If you are implementing any kind of change in your organisation, then the way that employees ‘remember’ how change was implemented in the past, its implications and ramifications usually has a major impact on the mindset and willingness of your employees to adopt your proposed changes now.
So you need to pay attention to what has happened during previous organisational change.
And you need to ensure that the recall of the events is accurate.
As Paterson said: "When people remember an event together their memories become more similar to each others' than if they had not had this discussion.
"Through this process, known as memory conformity, a group of people can come to share a single, inaccurate memory for the event."
Evidence based change history
The best way to ensure accurate history is to look to the evidence, notes and records made contemporaneously. However many organisations simply do not keep records of the feelings and reactions of people during the change process. Plenty of project and technical data is recorded for posterity but rarely the qualitative journey.
Test the organisational and individual recollections
So if your organisation doesn’t have such records, you will be relying on people’s recall. This means you’ll need to carefully test and explore any negative memories to get to the reality.
However as you do so, remember that the negative feelings could be the result of The Almond Effect®. And even if the facts are wrong, the emotions evoked by a perceived accurate recollection of an event will be very real indeed.
At the very least ensure that records are kept of both the qualitative and quantitative aspects of the people change management journey so that future change initiatives in your organisation have an accurate history to work from.
One of my friends started to tell us all about seeing a couple having an argument in a restaurant. As the story unfolded, his wife who had been in the restaurant with him, started to ‘correct’ him, saying things like: ‘no, she was the one who thumped the table, not him’ and ‘no, you’ve got it wrong, he stormed out first, not her’.
Sadly our friends then started to argue between themselves about who had the correct recollection. Initially they each adamantly believed that they had the right version. Eventually the husband changed his mind and agreed that his wife’s version was correct and that his initial thoughts were wrong.
Now some of you are thinking – of course he’d give in to his wife!
This might be a serious problem
But is this a familiar scenario? i.e. people witness the same event or discussion but their recall and memories of it differ.
Perhaps you’ve even doubted your own memory of what you saw or heard. Yet after talking to other witnesses, you may have changed your mind about what you saw or heard and genuinely agree with and adopt the other version as your own.
That what happened in 1995 during the investigation of the Oklahoma Bombing. You may recall that one witness Tom Kessinger initially said that Timothy McVeigh had an accomplice. Other ‘witnesses’ who had talked with Kessinger and others agreed and this sparked a huge hunt and expenditure in time and resources for the non-existent John Doe No.2.
Kessinger later testified that he was mistaken. There was no accomplice.
Dr Helen Paterson from the University of Sydney is exploring the ramifications of memory recall in the context of contaminated witness testimony in court cases.
You can listen to her talk about her research here. It goes to the heart of witness reliability and may have very serious implications for veracity of evidence from witnesses in trials especially criminal matters where innocence or guilt is determined.
Memories are not fixed
Memories are retrieved usually with the help of some cues – that’s where the problems of The Almond Effect® come in!
And the old thinking was that memories were stable and permanent. All that happened was that they faded with time.
But research has shown that memories are much more malleable and impressionable than that.
So the challenge is that we may not even be recalling accurate memories. Our memories may have become contaminated. For example by taking on other people’s versions of events?
Why can this happen? Well we now know that memories are simply reconstructions. And as such they can be adjusted, changed, tampered with.
False Memories
At one end of the spectrum there is the psychological condition known as False Memory Syndrome. This is where someone has a memory which is a distortion of an actual experience, or a confabulation of an imagined one. Many false memories involve confusing or mixing fragments of memory events, some of which may have happened at different times but which are remembered as occurring together.
However in our day to day lives, we experience this shifting in our memories as simply not quite an accurate reconstruction. For example, we can forget things, include things, ‘remember’ the event as being bigger, smaller, more dramatic, less dramatic, and declare that the fish was over a metre long!
And neuroscientists also tell us that our recall can grow or diminish under the influence of other people’s remembrances.
So what?
We have talked before about the role of ‘history’ in leading change. If you are implementing any kind of change in your organisation, then the way that employees ‘remember’ how change was implemented in the past, its implications and ramifications usually has a major impact on the mindset and willingness of your employees to adopt your proposed changes now.
So you need to pay attention to what has happened during previous organisational change.
And you need to ensure that the recall of the events is accurate.
As Paterson said: "When people remember an event together their memories become more similar to each others' than if they had not had this discussion.
"Through this process, known as memory conformity, a group of people can come to share a single, inaccurate memory for the event."
Evidence based change history
The best way to ensure accurate history is to look to the evidence, notes and records made contemporaneously. However many organisations simply do not keep records of the feelings and reactions of people during the change process. Plenty of project and technical data is recorded for posterity but rarely the qualitative journey.
Test the organisational and individual recollections
So if your organisation doesn’t have such records, you will be relying on people’s recall. This means you’ll need to carefully test and explore any negative memories to get to the reality.
However as you do so, remember that the negative feelings could be the result of The Almond Effect®. And even if the facts are wrong, the emotions evoked by a perceived accurate recollection of an event will be very real indeed.
At the very least ensure that records are kept of both the qualitative and quantitative aspects of the people change management journey so that future change initiatives in your organisation have an accurate history to work from.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Clues Emotions spread like viruses
‘I‘d like my life back’
When Tony Hayward, CEO of BP at the time of the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill said these words, millions of people shuddered. It was a careless, stupid and thoughtless thing to say when the human, environmental and economic cost of the BP disaster is almost incalculable.
His apparent insensitivity was made emphasised by reports and footage taken of him sailing off the Isle of Wight shortly after.
I doubt anyone felt sorry for him though if you know about The Almond Effect®, you’ll know where that statement came from.
The Almond Effect® - Lack of judgment
His words and actions showed a complete lack of judgment. It was The Almond Effect® in full force. Tired, battered, desperate for a solution and an end to the disaster, Hayward wasn’t thinking. His emotional brain was talking.
This was a very public example of the need we all have to manage our amygdala and develop the skills to think before we speak or act.
Split second actions
Can you, like me, think of times when you wish you could go back in time and regain the opportunity to do or say something differently?
The email or SMS sent too quickly, the words that just tumbled out of your mouth, the inappropriate facial expression or body language, the action you regret – all happening in a split second, without thinking, just reacting – like Hayward.
Not stopping to think about the impact of what you say or do on others.
Do you use one-liners and throw-away lines?
One-liners and throw-away lines fall into the same category. The words are probably meant to be funny but instead make the target of the remarks and people around at the time cringe? It’s another example of our amygdala talking, it’s certainly not the thinking brain unless we rationally intend to do emotional harm.
Emotions spread like viruses
In addition to the stupidity of the words, there is another element to Hayward’s blunder that is almost as scary – and it impacts all of us who want to bring about change at work. It is the speed with which Hayward’s gaffe, and the negative emotions associated with it, spread around the globe.
We know that emotions are contagious. People catch emotions the way they catch a cold.
Now add the power of global media and social networking into the mix.
How long does it take a negative comment in your place to spread? How many of your people are on Facebook, twitter or simply SMS. In addition to the chatter, facial expressions and body language, all it takes is a phone.
Lessons for leaders
When you take on the role of leader, I believe you also take on the responsibility to watch every word that comes out of your mouth, especially when you’re tired, stressed, having a bad day, had an argument at home or simply that your coffee tastes awful.
Learn the skills to recognise your triggers and ANTs before your amygdala precipitates you into saying or doing something you regret or that negatively impacts changes you are trying to bring about in your organisation.
This skill that will not only make you a leader that people want to follow but it will significantly enhance your career.
When Tony Hayward, CEO of BP at the time of the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill said these words, millions of people shuddered. It was a careless, stupid and thoughtless thing to say when the human, environmental and economic cost of the BP disaster is almost incalculable.
His apparent insensitivity was made emphasised by reports and footage taken of him sailing off the Isle of Wight shortly after.
I doubt anyone felt sorry for him though if you know about The Almond Effect®, you’ll know where that statement came from.
The Almond Effect® - Lack of judgment
His words and actions showed a complete lack of judgment. It was The Almond Effect® in full force. Tired, battered, desperate for a solution and an end to the disaster, Hayward wasn’t thinking. His emotional brain was talking.
This was a very public example of the need we all have to manage our amygdala and develop the skills to think before we speak or act.
Split second actions
Can you, like me, think of times when you wish you could go back in time and regain the opportunity to do or say something differently?
The email or SMS sent too quickly, the words that just tumbled out of your mouth, the inappropriate facial expression or body language, the action you regret – all happening in a split second, without thinking, just reacting – like Hayward.
Not stopping to think about the impact of what you say or do on others.
Do you use one-liners and throw-away lines?
One-liners and throw-away lines fall into the same category. The words are probably meant to be funny but instead make the target of the remarks and people around at the time cringe? It’s another example of our amygdala talking, it’s certainly not the thinking brain unless we rationally intend to do emotional harm.
Emotions spread like viruses
In addition to the stupidity of the words, there is another element to Hayward’s blunder that is almost as scary – and it impacts all of us who want to bring about change at work. It is the speed with which Hayward’s gaffe, and the negative emotions associated with it, spread around the globe.
We know that emotions are contagious. People catch emotions the way they catch a cold.
Now add the power of global media and social networking into the mix.
How long does it take a negative comment in your place to spread? How many of your people are on Facebook, twitter or simply SMS. In addition to the chatter, facial expressions and body language, all it takes is a phone.
Lessons for leaders
When you take on the role of leader, I believe you also take on the responsibility to watch every word that comes out of your mouth, especially when you’re tired, stressed, having a bad day, had an argument at home or simply that your coffee tastes awful.
Learn the skills to recognise your triggers and ANTs before your amygdala precipitates you into saying or doing something you regret or that negatively impacts changes you are trying to bring about in your organisation.
This skill that will not only make you a leader that people want to follow but it will significantly enhance your career.
Friday, June 25, 2010
CLUES Silence is Golden - or is it?
What to do when people don’t speak up
Robert sat there with his arms folded. He dropped his head a little, widened his eyes and looked up at me with an expression that was hard to accurately read.
Was he still engaged with the discussion? I think so but was it positive or negative engagement?
I suspect the latter because my almond had already started smoking! My amygdala must have become aware of his body language and change of facial expression momentarily after we began talking about the way negative emotional responses infect the team around you.
I wondered what was going on for him. Was it The Almond Effect®? He had just received some challenging information from his personal profile. And a co-facilitator had given him similar feedback about the negative emotional impact his management style had on others. I suspect the current conversation was ‘hitting a nerve’ and resonating uncomfortably with him.
Do you notice someone going quiet?
He wasn’t happy – that much was clear. His silence, the subtle shift in body language and eyes told me that he was withdrawing from the conversation.
I’m not sure how many others noticed. Certainly no-one in the rest of the group said anything.
And it got me wondering. How many meetings or discussions do we attend where someone simply holds back, doesn’t do or say anything because they are in fight/flight/freeze mode?
We lose valuable input, ideas and challenges because, without effective self-management, we ourselves may experience The Almond Effect® when we see it in others.
Silent Saboteurs
We recognise The Almond Effect® when it shows up in explicit ways. For example, people become aggressive, walk out of meetings, go home sick, get together in the lunch room or via Facebook, send nastily toned emails, make mistakes or simply don’t show up.
Yet withdrawal can be just as damaging because we no longer have full engagement, participation and contribution. In fact we may mistake someone’s silence as implied agreement and consent to a course of action, when unknown to us, we have a silent saboteur in the room.
We are more likely to notice when an extrovert withdraws. But it can be harder to tell if an introverted thinker is simply thinking about the issue or has made a decision to withdraw their contribution.
How can we tell if the silence is golden or a problem?
How much time do you spend actively noticing emotional reactions in your interactions i.e. focussing beyond the content of what you want to say? We are all busy, we all need to get stuff done in a hurry. Looking for and responding to emotional cues requires focus and energy. So it’s not surprising that we might miss some of the more subtle signals.
Yet I know that I am not the only one who has regretted not picking up on something in a conversation. Have you ever been there? At the extreme, it could result in a horrendous outcome – someone harms themselves because they are clinically depressed and we either haven’t noticed or if we do, we think:’ I haven’t got time to deal with this now’ or: ‘it’s not my job to deal with this”.
The Black Dog Institute encourages us to take the time to ask “R U OK?” when we notice that someone might be in a dark emotional space.
How can we become better at interpreting silences?
One way is to learn to really focus on what is going on beyond the actual words. Mindfulness is a skill that helps us develop self-awareness and self-management skills which in turn helps us master the ability the read the emotions of others.
It works by teaching us to how to keep control of our own emotions, minimise distracting thoughts and concentrate of what is happening around us at that moment.
If you go here you will find a simple explanation of mindfulness and some techniques to develop it.
Ask the right questions
Another leadership skill in these situations is to ask questions, the right questions of the quiet ones. If their withdrawal is caused by The Almond Effect® then your purpose is to actively engage them in a thinking activity which may help to dampen down the amygdalic activity. This means asking questions that are open-ended and require an answer.
Here are some to give you a flavour of what I’m thinking about here:
* What roadblocks can you see with ............in your area?
* How will this be received in your team?
* Specifically, thinking about how it impacts you/your area, what are the items we must take into account?
* What would it take for this to gain traction in your area?
* If you were me, what would you do about......
Getting your kids to open up
It is not just at work that people withdraw. In a recent workshop discussing the language of emotions and feelings, one participant shared a fabulous strategy to open the door for more meaningful conversations with our children.
Single word answers like ‘good’, ‘OK’, are not allowed in response to questions like: ‘How was school?,’ ‘How are you feeling?’, ‘What do you think about that?’ What a smart parenting and leadership idea!
Robert sat there with his arms folded. He dropped his head a little, widened his eyes and looked up at me with an expression that was hard to accurately read.
Was he still engaged with the discussion? I think so but was it positive or negative engagement?
I suspect the latter because my almond had already started smoking! My amygdala must have become aware of his body language and change of facial expression momentarily after we began talking about the way negative emotional responses infect the team around you.
I wondered what was going on for him. Was it The Almond Effect®? He had just received some challenging information from his personal profile. And a co-facilitator had given him similar feedback about the negative emotional impact his management style had on others. I suspect the current conversation was ‘hitting a nerve’ and resonating uncomfortably with him.
Do you notice someone going quiet?
He wasn’t happy – that much was clear. His silence, the subtle shift in body language and eyes told me that he was withdrawing from the conversation.
I’m not sure how many others noticed. Certainly no-one in the rest of the group said anything.
And it got me wondering. How many meetings or discussions do we attend where someone simply holds back, doesn’t do or say anything because they are in fight/flight/freeze mode?
We lose valuable input, ideas and challenges because, without effective self-management, we ourselves may experience The Almond Effect® when we see it in others.
Silent Saboteurs
We recognise The Almond Effect® when it shows up in explicit ways. For example, people become aggressive, walk out of meetings, go home sick, get together in the lunch room or via Facebook, send nastily toned emails, make mistakes or simply don’t show up.
Yet withdrawal can be just as damaging because we no longer have full engagement, participation and contribution. In fact we may mistake someone’s silence as implied agreement and consent to a course of action, when unknown to us, we have a silent saboteur in the room.
We are more likely to notice when an extrovert withdraws. But it can be harder to tell if an introverted thinker is simply thinking about the issue or has made a decision to withdraw their contribution.
How can we tell if the silence is golden or a problem?
How much time do you spend actively noticing emotional reactions in your interactions i.e. focussing beyond the content of what you want to say? We are all busy, we all need to get stuff done in a hurry. Looking for and responding to emotional cues requires focus and energy. So it’s not surprising that we might miss some of the more subtle signals.
Yet I know that I am not the only one who has regretted not picking up on something in a conversation. Have you ever been there? At the extreme, it could result in a horrendous outcome – someone harms themselves because they are clinically depressed and we either haven’t noticed or if we do, we think:’ I haven’t got time to deal with this now’ or: ‘it’s not my job to deal with this”.
The Black Dog Institute encourages us to take the time to ask “R U OK?” when we notice that someone might be in a dark emotional space.
How can we become better at interpreting silences?
One way is to learn to really focus on what is going on beyond the actual words. Mindfulness is a skill that helps us develop self-awareness and self-management skills which in turn helps us master the ability the read the emotions of others.
It works by teaching us to how to keep control of our own emotions, minimise distracting thoughts and concentrate of what is happening around us at that moment.
If you go here you will find a simple explanation of mindfulness and some techniques to develop it.
Ask the right questions
Another leadership skill in these situations is to ask questions, the right questions of the quiet ones. If their withdrawal is caused by The Almond Effect® then your purpose is to actively engage them in a thinking activity which may help to dampen down the amygdalic activity. This means asking questions that are open-ended and require an answer.
Here are some to give you a flavour of what I’m thinking about here:
* What roadblocks can you see with ............in your area?
* How will this be received in your team?
* Specifically, thinking about how it impacts you/your area, what are the items we must take into account?
* What would it take for this to gain traction in your area?
* If you were me, what would you do about......
Getting your kids to open up
It is not just at work that people withdraw. In a recent workshop discussing the language of emotions and feelings, one participant shared a fabulous strategy to open the door for more meaningful conversations with our children.
Single word answers like ‘good’, ‘OK’, are not allowed in response to questions like: ‘How was school?,’ ‘How are you feeling?’, ‘What do you think about that?’ What a smart parenting and leadership idea!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
CLUES We'll change when the bosses do
Do you find that your time is even harder to manage these days? I know I do.
A colleague of mine works for training company that offers time management solutions. I wrote about her several years ago and, even though she’s risen up the ranks, I can’t believe it but she still has the same problem – this time with her CEO.
My colleague’s company trains employees to manage their time more effectively and improve productivity and performance. It’s amazing how popular these courses are even though they’ve been around for decades.
So, can you imagine how my colleague felt when her boss, now the CEO, said he just didn't have time to meet with her to go through her performance review and career development plan! She felt like she was in a time warp!
Common reasons for failure
Our conversation set me thinking about why so many change efforts still stall or lose momentum. One of the most common reasons remains congruency or consistency (or lack of it) by the so called leaders.
For example, let's say you decide that to increase your competitiveness in a cut-throat market, your organization’s culture is holding you back.
Despite the kick in the guts, or even because of it, by the global financial crisis, the culture remains inward looking and process driven.
To survive, the company must become outward, customer focused across all its operations and not just at the customer interface.
The company embarks on the change process. It restructures; it retrains staff and starts on a culture change program.
Yet despite the clear reasons why the culture must change and past behaviours and responses examined, many members of senior management continue to resort to short term expediency of cutting costs rather spending time on a careful well conceived approach to obtain and deliver the necessary strategic outcomes. They haven’t learned to manage The Almond Effect® yet!
So the company starts a cost cutting exercise. Senior management even visits the front line to drive the cost-cutting message home.
What's the result?
Staff are confused by the mixed messages; they remain inward looking, there is still no focus on the customer. Nothing seems to have changed over a decade.
Leaders should set the pace
During times of change and pressure, people always look to their leaders to set the pace and show the way.
Psychologically we are designed to respond positively or at least neutrally, to consistency. When things don’t turn out the way we expect based on our brain’s hard-wired patterns, that’s when The Almond Effect® can happen.
Comedians play on this and make us laugh by delivering a line we can't predict. You can't see it coming. But in a comic situation, you know it’s safe and not a threat.
Inconsistency is acceptable in some situations but what most people want in the workplace is to know what's coming next and to be able to rely on their leaders. People believe what they see, not what is said. They want leaders they can trust.
I have never met an employee yet who says, "I love the way I don't know how the boss is going to react. It's great that it is never the same."
If you can remember back a few years, just consider your reaction and the reaction of the American people to the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky debacle. It’s still talked about.
Most people did not care too much about the fact that the then President had an affair. What started to shift opinions were his inconsistent statements. That inconsistency, not the affair, almost cost him the Presidency and most certainly impacted on the level of trust in him by the American people.
Beware the silent saboteur
If leaders "don't practice what they preach" or "walk their talk", their people don't trust them. When that happens, people become cynical, unresponsive to change and at worst become 'silent saboteurs'.
We know there is a problem and the change isn't going according to plan but we just can't seem to put our finger on it.
A major challenge for leaders of change is they must have the resilience, tenacity and clarity of vision to shake off the old and focus on the new. In complex and difficult change situations, it's easy to fall back into the old ways of doing things when the going gets tough.
What can management do?
So what does a CEO and the management team need to do to change the culture and bring about any changes in attitude or behaviours to a new way of doing business?
Try this list for starters:
Get out there and communicate:
* The business reasons for change – why change is necessary. This is one of the top reasons why people don’t get on board – they have no convincing answer to the question: Why should I change
* Create urgency- show the extreme pressure to change coming from outside the organization
* Validate the way the organization has been to date and their role in it
* Describe the new vision and scope – what will it be like after change – define it from perspective of the listener
* Identify what is not changing
* Explain the change process - the initiatives and timelines
* Let them know what changes can be expected and when
* Describe the problems they might experience
* Explain the impact of not changing
* Don’t blame the past or people
* Answer the WIFM question and “How will this affect me? ‘What am I expected to do?’
And ensure that all your influencers at whatever level act consistently and congruently with all the change messages that are being sent. If they do not, move them out of your company or to a position of no influence, direct or indirect.
Can you step up?
This is a big job, not for the feint hearted. But for leaders who realise that this is the most important role of the leader, your reward will be to join the small and exclusive list of leaders who have successfully taken their organizations to the next level.
A colleague of mine works for training company that offers time management solutions. I wrote about her several years ago and, even though she’s risen up the ranks, I can’t believe it but she still has the same problem – this time with her CEO.
My colleague’s company trains employees to manage their time more effectively and improve productivity and performance. It’s amazing how popular these courses are even though they’ve been around for decades.
So, can you imagine how my colleague felt when her boss, now the CEO, said he just didn't have time to meet with her to go through her performance review and career development plan! She felt like she was in a time warp!
Common reasons for failure
Our conversation set me thinking about why so many change efforts still stall or lose momentum. One of the most common reasons remains congruency or consistency (or lack of it) by the so called leaders.
For example, let's say you decide that to increase your competitiveness in a cut-throat market, your organization’s culture is holding you back.
Despite the kick in the guts, or even because of it, by the global financial crisis, the culture remains inward looking and process driven.
To survive, the company must become outward, customer focused across all its operations and not just at the customer interface.
The company embarks on the change process. It restructures; it retrains staff and starts on a culture change program.
Yet despite the clear reasons why the culture must change and past behaviours and responses examined, many members of senior management continue to resort to short term expediency of cutting costs rather spending time on a careful well conceived approach to obtain and deliver the necessary strategic outcomes. They haven’t learned to manage The Almond Effect® yet!
So the company starts a cost cutting exercise. Senior management even visits the front line to drive the cost-cutting message home.
What's the result?
Staff are confused by the mixed messages; they remain inward looking, there is still no focus on the customer. Nothing seems to have changed over a decade.
Leaders should set the pace
During times of change and pressure, people always look to their leaders to set the pace and show the way.
Psychologically we are designed to respond positively or at least neutrally, to consistency. When things don’t turn out the way we expect based on our brain’s hard-wired patterns, that’s when The Almond Effect® can happen.
Comedians play on this and make us laugh by delivering a line we can't predict. You can't see it coming. But in a comic situation, you know it’s safe and not a threat.
Inconsistency is acceptable in some situations but what most people want in the workplace is to know what's coming next and to be able to rely on their leaders. People believe what they see, not what is said. They want leaders they can trust.
I have never met an employee yet who says, "I love the way I don't know how the boss is going to react. It's great that it is never the same."
If you can remember back a few years, just consider your reaction and the reaction of the American people to the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky debacle. It’s still talked about.
Most people did not care too much about the fact that the then President had an affair. What started to shift opinions were his inconsistent statements. That inconsistency, not the affair, almost cost him the Presidency and most certainly impacted on the level of trust in him by the American people.
Beware the silent saboteur
If leaders "don't practice what they preach" or "walk their talk", their people don't trust them. When that happens, people become cynical, unresponsive to change and at worst become 'silent saboteurs'.
We know there is a problem and the change isn't going according to plan but we just can't seem to put our finger on it.
A major challenge for leaders of change is they must have the resilience, tenacity and clarity of vision to shake off the old and focus on the new. In complex and difficult change situations, it's easy to fall back into the old ways of doing things when the going gets tough.
What can management do?
So what does a CEO and the management team need to do to change the culture and bring about any changes in attitude or behaviours to a new way of doing business?
Try this list for starters:
Get out there and communicate:
* The business reasons for change – why change is necessary. This is one of the top reasons why people don’t get on board – they have no convincing answer to the question: Why should I change
* Create urgency- show the extreme pressure to change coming from outside the organization
* Validate the way the organization has been to date and their role in it
* Describe the new vision and scope – what will it be like after change – define it from perspective of the listener
* Identify what is not changing
* Explain the change process - the initiatives and timelines
* Let them know what changes can be expected and when
* Describe the problems they might experience
* Explain the impact of not changing
* Don’t blame the past or people
* Answer the WIFM question and “How will this affect me? ‘What am I expected to do?’
And ensure that all your influencers at whatever level act consistently and congruently with all the change messages that are being sent. If they do not, move them out of your company or to a position of no influence, direct or indirect.
Can you step up?
This is a big job, not for the feint hearted. But for leaders who realise that this is the most important role of the leader, your reward will be to join the small and exclusive list of leaders who have successfully taken their organizations to the next level.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
CLUES Is lack of sleep making you a poor leader?
Are you getting enough?
Ever considered that the amount of sleep you get is a key factor in staff retention?
Researchers tell us that sleep is critical for our children’s capacity to learn. If they don’t get enough sleep, their ability to make new connections and their ability to concentrate is impaired.
Typical daily sleep requirements for children by age are:
• Infants (3 to 11 months): 14-15 hours
• Toddlers: 12-14 hours
• Preschoolers: 11-13 hours
• School-age children: 10-11 hours
So, are your kids getting enough sleep?
And as importantly, are you?
Why does it matter?
High performing brains, especially the pre-frontal cortex areas (PFC), require heaps of energy in the form of glucose. The PFC is responsible for our executive functioning like planning, decision-making, analysis, comparisons and behaviour control i.e. complex cognitive activities.
Just like children, if we are haven’t had enough sleep then our bodies prioritise the available energy just to keep us physically functioning. That means our brains, especially the PFC, lag behind in the race for glucose.
Result: tired brains find it hard to come up with new answers. One consequence is that we end up repeating what we have done before even if we know we should find a new way. We find it hard to focus, we procrastinate or we hastily make decisions that we should sleep on!
Negative memories and bad decisions prevail
Add this piece of research into the mix: Dan Ariely at Duke University wondered if decisions made in negative emotional circumstances in the past influenced future actions when the original emotion was no longer present. He did some experiments and concluded that they did.
Reason: when we make decisions, we tap into the memories of decisions we made in the past in circumstances that can be linked in some way to the present situation. That’s easier for our brain than having to come up with new neural connections (a new decision).
Now, negative memories (and their associated decisions) will always come to mind first because our amygdala is always on guard to protect us. They will, as Ariely puts it ‘become part of the blueprint’ for future actions.
And it’s when we use this blueprint and respond inappropriately, that’s what I call The Almond Effect®.
If we are tired our PFC is too exhausted to reflect back on the emotional circumstances in which the original decision was made and consider whether the decision is still the correct one in the fresh situation.
We are then likely to make the same poor decision again even though we may not be feeling the same negative emotions we felt when the original decision was made!
I wonder if that’s why office feuds, silo battles, home arguments, even wars, go on for so long – long after the original cause has been defused. We just haven’t stopped to challenge the pattern in our brain and so keep repeating decisions and behaviours because ‘that’s the way it’s always been.’
Ask your people if they like working for you when you are sleep deprived
So, for most of us lack of sleep means snap decisions, procrastination, repeating bad decisions, inability to concentrate and bad moods. And because we are tired we eat the junk food our bodies crave for an instant sugar (glucose) hit. We are too weary to do any exercise and so the exhaustion cycle continues – just adding to the load on our bodies and the depletion of energy.
Do your people love working for you when you are like that? Are you a good leader? Do they feel ‘engaged’?
They might put up with it for a few days, a few weeks, even longer but in the end, they’ll walk away and find someone who is easier to work with.
What to do about it
I’m not your mother so I’m not going to tell you to go to bed earlier, take a break, get some exercise, eat proper food, cut down on the alcohol – you can work that out yourself.
But at the very least, acknowledge when lack of sleep is impacting the way you lead. Consider whether, if you were in your people’s shoes, you are providing the kind of leadership that will encourage your best employees to stay?
If the answer is no and lack of sleep has something to do with it, then maybe you should let your kids put you to bed, read you a bedtime story and kiss you goodnight!
Ever considered that the amount of sleep you get is a key factor in staff retention?
Researchers tell us that sleep is critical for our children’s capacity to learn. If they don’t get enough sleep, their ability to make new connections and their ability to concentrate is impaired.
Typical daily sleep requirements for children by age are:
• Infants (3 to 11 months): 14-15 hours
• Toddlers: 12-14 hours
• Preschoolers: 11-13 hours
• School-age children: 10-11 hours
So, are your kids getting enough sleep?
And as importantly, are you?
Why does it matter?
High performing brains, especially the pre-frontal cortex areas (PFC), require heaps of energy in the form of glucose. The PFC is responsible for our executive functioning like planning, decision-making, analysis, comparisons and behaviour control i.e. complex cognitive activities.
Just like children, if we are haven’t had enough sleep then our bodies prioritise the available energy just to keep us physically functioning. That means our brains, especially the PFC, lag behind in the race for glucose.
Result: tired brains find it hard to come up with new answers. One consequence is that we end up repeating what we have done before even if we know we should find a new way. We find it hard to focus, we procrastinate or we hastily make decisions that we should sleep on!
Negative memories and bad decisions prevail
Add this piece of research into the mix: Dan Ariely at Duke University wondered if decisions made in negative emotional circumstances in the past influenced future actions when the original emotion was no longer present. He did some experiments and concluded that they did.
Reason: when we make decisions, we tap into the memories of decisions we made in the past in circumstances that can be linked in some way to the present situation. That’s easier for our brain than having to come up with new neural connections (a new decision).
Now, negative memories (and their associated decisions) will always come to mind first because our amygdala is always on guard to protect us. They will, as Ariely puts it ‘become part of the blueprint’ for future actions.
And it’s when we use this blueprint and respond inappropriately, that’s what I call The Almond Effect®.
If we are tired our PFC is too exhausted to reflect back on the emotional circumstances in which the original decision was made and consider whether the decision is still the correct one in the fresh situation.
We are then likely to make the same poor decision again even though we may not be feeling the same negative emotions we felt when the original decision was made!
I wonder if that’s why office feuds, silo battles, home arguments, even wars, go on for so long – long after the original cause has been defused. We just haven’t stopped to challenge the pattern in our brain and so keep repeating decisions and behaviours because ‘that’s the way it’s always been.’
Ask your people if they like working for you when you are sleep deprived
So, for most of us lack of sleep means snap decisions, procrastination, repeating bad decisions, inability to concentrate and bad moods. And because we are tired we eat the junk food our bodies crave for an instant sugar (glucose) hit. We are too weary to do any exercise and so the exhaustion cycle continues – just adding to the load on our bodies and the depletion of energy.
Do your people love working for you when you are like that? Are you a good leader? Do they feel ‘engaged’?
They might put up with it for a few days, a few weeks, even longer but in the end, they’ll walk away and find someone who is easier to work with.
What to do about it
I’m not your mother so I’m not going to tell you to go to bed earlier, take a break, get some exercise, eat proper food, cut down on the alcohol – you can work that out yourself.
But at the very least, acknowledge when lack of sleep is impacting the way you lead. Consider whether, if you were in your people’s shoes, you are providing the kind of leadership that will encourage your best employees to stay?
If the answer is no and lack of sleep has something to do with it, then maybe you should let your kids put you to bed, read you a bedtime story and kiss you goodnight!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
CLUES Will your stress cost you your job?
Are you a good stress manager? You need to be to keep your people engaged
You may be one of those lucky people who never feel stressed. If that’s you, that’s fabulous – although you might want to check with your family and the people who work for you to see if they agree based on what they see.
Stress is a natural and normal part of our lives. But if your heart constantly races, your shoulders are always tight, your tummy is a tangle of knots, you haven’t slept properly for ages, you continually feel sick, on edge, weepy, angry etc, then your amygdala is triggering physical warning signs that you need to take notice of.
It’s The Almond Effect®, the inappropriate activation of our survival response. This fight or flight reaction is designed to help us in life threatening and dangerous situations. At those times, our amygdala triggers the release of chemicals and hormones to heighten our awareness and give us a jolt of power and strength to protect ourselves from the threat. It’s a short-term solution to a short-term threat.
However if we don’t manage longer term stress that comes from work or home situations, our bodies stay in a stressed or alert state for much longer periods of time than is safe for us to cope with. We end up exacerbating the situation and doing even more harm to ourselves.
Not only your health but your job may be at risk
Symptoms of stress are like a smoke alarm going off. We need to do something about it, immediately. If we delay and allow stress to turn into distress, not only will we experience a negative impact on our health and personal relationships but it may prove to be a career limiting move - especially if you have aspirations to move up the corporate ladder.
Your stress impacts engagement
Why? Failure to deal with your own stress could seriously influence how people feel about working with you and for you.
One of the key elements in retaining good people and keeping them engaged is your ability to manage your stress so that it doesn’t affect the people around you.
Who wants to go to work not knowing whether the boss will be ‘up’ or ‘down’, approachable or not, communicative or sullen, energetic or lethargic, short-tempered or easy-going, acknowledging good work or not even noticing, empathetic or distant, clear in what they want (or don’t want) or has fuzzy thinking?
A statement of the obvious? Of course! Yet some people-managers think that stress is a weakness and deny its existence even when it is demonstrably clear to everyone around them that they are stressed out.
They often try to suppress or ignore the signals usually with very sad longer-term health consequences. In another issue of CLUES I’ll tell you more about the impact of suppressing emotions on our bodies.
You damage yourself, your people and your organisation
Even employees with the highest level of self-awareness and management are worn down dealing with the actual or potential ramifications of your stress. And as the economy strengthens and regains traction, retaining our best employees and keeping all our people engaged will continue to be a major issue.
So what to do about it
These are the fantastic tips from Kay Wilhelm on the Black Dog Institute website.
1. Work out priorities
Keep a list - make the tasks possible. Prioritise the tasks in order of importance and tick off when done. Include the important people in your life as priorities and attend to these relationships.
2. Identify your stress situations
Make a list of events that leave you emotionally drained, with one or two ways to reduce the stress for each. When they occur, use them as an opportunity to practise your stress reduction techniques, then, keep notes on what works for next time.
3. Learn to ‘reframe’ statements: Don't react to imagined insults
It is a waste of time and energy to be oversensitive to imagined insults, innuendo or sarcasm. Give people the benefit of the doubt; talk over the situation with someone you trust. They may have another spin on what was said.
4. Think before you commit yourself to other people's expectations
We can often perform tasks merely to feel accepted by other people. Practice saying "no" to requests that are unreasonable or more than you can handle at the time - rather than suffer subsequent regrets and stress. Consider whether you should learn to rely less on the approval of others, again, talk this over with someone you trust.
5. Move on: Don't dwell on past mistakes
Feelings of guilt, remorse and regret cannot change the past and they make the present difficult by sapping your energy. Make a conscious effort to do something to change the mood (eg mindfulness technique or something active you enjoy) when you feel yourself drifting into regrets about past actions. Learn from it and have strategies in place for next time. Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
6. Learn to defuse anger and frustrations rather than bottle them up
Express and discuss your feelings to the person responsible for your agitation. If it is impossible to talk it out, plan for some physical activity at the end of the working day to relieve tensions. Let go of grudges –they do not affect the potential victim because he does not necessarily know about them. However, the grudge-bearer pays a price in energy and anxiety just thinking about revenge.
7. Set aside time each day for recreation and exercise
Gentle repetitive exercise such as walking, swimming, cycling are good to relieve stress. Meditation, yoga, Pilates and dance are also excellent. The trick is to find what suits you best. Hobbies that focus attention are also good stress relievers. Take up a new activity unrelated to your current occupation, one that gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction. Establish new friends in your newly found interest. There are handouts with a range of techniques for relaxation and mindfulness on the Black Dog Institute website that you can use.
8. Take your time: don't let people rush you
Frenzied activities lead to errors, regrets, stress. Request time to orient yourself to the situation. At work, if rushed, ask people to wait until you finish working or thinking something out. Plan ahead to arrive at appointments early, composed and having made allowances for unexpected hold-ups. Practice approaching situations ‘mindfully’.
9. Take your time on the road: Don't be an aggressive car driver
Develop an "I will not be ruffled" attitude. Drive defensively and give way to bullies. Near misses cause stress and strain, so does the fear of being caught for speeding. If possible avoid peak hour traffic. If caught in it, relax by concentrating on deep (stomach) breathing or ‘mindful driving’ (using mindfulness technique, also available on website). Advanced driving lessons can be useful.
10. Help children and young people to cope with stress
Children need the experience of being confronted with problems to try out, and improve their ability to cope. By being overprotective or by intervening too soon, parents may prevent young people from developing valuable tolerance levels for problems, or from acquiring problem-solving skills.
11. Think positively – you get what you expect
Smile whenever possible –it’s an inexpensive way of improving your looks and how you feel. Try and find something positive to say about a situation, particularly if you are going to find fault. You can visualise situations you have handled well and hold those memories in your mind when going into stressful situations.
12. Cut down on drinking, smoking, sedatives and stimulants
They only offer temporary relief and don’t solve the problem. They can create more problems in terms of physical and mental health. Consider the effects you are looking for (sedation or stimulation) and how else you can achieve them
It’s your life and job on the line
Your ability to manage stress is not just an issue for you and your family. It is critical to effective leadership. Your impact on staff will lead to good people staying or going and whether they perform at their optimal levels.
I strongly believe that great leadership starts with crystal clear awareness about ourselves, our emotions, our responses and our ability to manage ourselves for optimal health and performance.
Isn’t it fantastic that mastering stress and mental well-being is not only essential for yourself but will have a hugely positive effect on the people around you and their performance? And that can only be a good thing for your career.
P.S.
I’d love to know if you found this CLUES useful and any other topics you’d like to read about.
You may be one of those lucky people who never feel stressed. If that’s you, that’s fabulous – although you might want to check with your family and the people who work for you to see if they agree based on what they see.
Stress is a natural and normal part of our lives. But if your heart constantly races, your shoulders are always tight, your tummy is a tangle of knots, you haven’t slept properly for ages, you continually feel sick, on edge, weepy, angry etc, then your amygdala is triggering physical warning signs that you need to take notice of.
It’s The Almond Effect®, the inappropriate activation of our survival response. This fight or flight reaction is designed to help us in life threatening and dangerous situations. At those times, our amygdala triggers the release of chemicals and hormones to heighten our awareness and give us a jolt of power and strength to protect ourselves from the threat. It’s a short-term solution to a short-term threat.
However if we don’t manage longer term stress that comes from work or home situations, our bodies stay in a stressed or alert state for much longer periods of time than is safe for us to cope with. We end up exacerbating the situation and doing even more harm to ourselves.
Not only your health but your job may be at risk
Symptoms of stress are like a smoke alarm going off. We need to do something about it, immediately. If we delay and allow stress to turn into distress, not only will we experience a negative impact on our health and personal relationships but it may prove to be a career limiting move - especially if you have aspirations to move up the corporate ladder.
Your stress impacts engagement
Why? Failure to deal with your own stress could seriously influence how people feel about working with you and for you.
One of the key elements in retaining good people and keeping them engaged is your ability to manage your stress so that it doesn’t affect the people around you.
Who wants to go to work not knowing whether the boss will be ‘up’ or ‘down’, approachable or not, communicative or sullen, energetic or lethargic, short-tempered or easy-going, acknowledging good work or not even noticing, empathetic or distant, clear in what they want (or don’t want) or has fuzzy thinking?
A statement of the obvious? Of course! Yet some people-managers think that stress is a weakness and deny its existence even when it is demonstrably clear to everyone around them that they are stressed out.
They often try to suppress or ignore the signals usually with very sad longer-term health consequences. In another issue of CLUES I’ll tell you more about the impact of suppressing emotions on our bodies.
You damage yourself, your people and your organisation
Even employees with the highest level of self-awareness and management are worn down dealing with the actual or potential ramifications of your stress. And as the economy strengthens and regains traction, retaining our best employees and keeping all our people engaged will continue to be a major issue.
So what to do about it
These are the fantastic tips from Kay Wilhelm on the Black Dog Institute website.
1. Work out priorities
Keep a list - make the tasks possible. Prioritise the tasks in order of importance and tick off when done. Include the important people in your life as priorities and attend to these relationships.
2. Identify your stress situations
Make a list of events that leave you emotionally drained, with one or two ways to reduce the stress for each. When they occur, use them as an opportunity to practise your stress reduction techniques, then, keep notes on what works for next time.
3. Learn to ‘reframe’ statements: Don't react to imagined insults
It is a waste of time and energy to be oversensitive to imagined insults, innuendo or sarcasm. Give people the benefit of the doubt; talk over the situation with someone you trust. They may have another spin on what was said.
4. Think before you commit yourself to other people's expectations
We can often perform tasks merely to feel accepted by other people. Practice saying "no" to requests that are unreasonable or more than you can handle at the time - rather than suffer subsequent regrets and stress. Consider whether you should learn to rely less on the approval of others, again, talk this over with someone you trust.
5. Move on: Don't dwell on past mistakes
Feelings of guilt, remorse and regret cannot change the past and they make the present difficult by sapping your energy. Make a conscious effort to do something to change the mood (eg mindfulness technique or something active you enjoy) when you feel yourself drifting into regrets about past actions. Learn from it and have strategies in place for next time. Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
6. Learn to defuse anger and frustrations rather than bottle them up
Express and discuss your feelings to the person responsible for your agitation. If it is impossible to talk it out, plan for some physical activity at the end of the working day to relieve tensions. Let go of grudges –they do not affect the potential victim because he does not necessarily know about them. However, the grudge-bearer pays a price in energy and anxiety just thinking about revenge.
7. Set aside time each day for recreation and exercise
Gentle repetitive exercise such as walking, swimming, cycling are good to relieve stress. Meditation, yoga, Pilates and dance are also excellent. The trick is to find what suits you best. Hobbies that focus attention are also good stress relievers. Take up a new activity unrelated to your current occupation, one that gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction. Establish new friends in your newly found interest. There are handouts with a range of techniques for relaxation and mindfulness on the Black Dog Institute website that you can use.
8. Take your time: don't let people rush you
Frenzied activities lead to errors, regrets, stress. Request time to orient yourself to the situation. At work, if rushed, ask people to wait until you finish working or thinking something out. Plan ahead to arrive at appointments early, composed and having made allowances for unexpected hold-ups. Practice approaching situations ‘mindfully’.
9. Take your time on the road: Don't be an aggressive car driver
Develop an "I will not be ruffled" attitude. Drive defensively and give way to bullies. Near misses cause stress and strain, so does the fear of being caught for speeding. If possible avoid peak hour traffic. If caught in it, relax by concentrating on deep (stomach) breathing or ‘mindful driving’ (using mindfulness technique, also available on website). Advanced driving lessons can be useful.
10. Help children and young people to cope with stress
Children need the experience of being confronted with problems to try out, and improve their ability to cope. By being overprotective or by intervening too soon, parents may prevent young people from developing valuable tolerance levels for problems, or from acquiring problem-solving skills.
11. Think positively – you get what you expect
Smile whenever possible –it’s an inexpensive way of improving your looks and how you feel. Try and find something positive to say about a situation, particularly if you are going to find fault. You can visualise situations you have handled well and hold those memories in your mind when going into stressful situations.
12. Cut down on drinking, smoking, sedatives and stimulants
They only offer temporary relief and don’t solve the problem. They can create more problems in terms of physical and mental health. Consider the effects you are looking for (sedation or stimulation) and how else you can achieve them
It’s your life and job on the line
Your ability to manage stress is not just an issue for you and your family. It is critical to effective leadership. Your impact on staff will lead to good people staying or going and whether they perform at their optimal levels.
I strongly believe that great leadership starts with crystal clear awareness about ourselves, our emotions, our responses and our ability to manage ourselves for optimal health and performance.
Isn’t it fantastic that mastering stress and mental well-being is not only essential for yourself but will have a hugely positive effect on the people around you and their performance? And that can only be a good thing for your career.
P.S.
I’d love to know if you found this CLUES useful and any other topics you’d like to read about.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
CLUES Don't fight with your family this Christmas!
Christmas with the family – pleasure or a pain?
As Christmas approaches, many of us will be preparing for the annual family get together.
Some of you will be looking forward to it.
A few of you will be putting on the family event or attending it because it’s the tradition in your family but dreading how it might turn out.
Others will have, as I used to, inflated expectations of what a lovely, friendly, happy event it would be – only to be disappointed. You can’t make a family that doesn’t have lovely, friendly, happy relationships through the year, have them on Christmas Day!
Take a STAR approach to the Festive Season
Whichever category you fall into, don’t let your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) get in the way.
Be aware if you feel yourself getting agitated or annoyed (i.e. The Almond Effect®). Notice it and tell yourself to calm down. It is only for this day. Don’t let the stress and tension cause you to miss the potential pleasure of having a hassle free Christmas.
Be a STAR. Stop and Think about what’s going on before you Act. Then when you reflect on the day, don’t let your brain strengthen any negative hard-wiring. Focus on the good things that happened and Rewire those.
And watch out for everyone else’s Almonds (amygdalae) too! Don’t rise to the bait.
Sugar coat the 'almonds' on this occasion – after all, it will be 365 days until the next one!
Hope you have a fabulous Festive Season and a wonderful 2010
As Christmas approaches, many of us will be preparing for the annual family get together.
Some of you will be looking forward to it.
A few of you will be putting on the family event or attending it because it’s the tradition in your family but dreading how it might turn out.
Others will have, as I used to, inflated expectations of what a lovely, friendly, happy event it would be – only to be disappointed. You can’t make a family that doesn’t have lovely, friendly, happy relationships through the year, have them on Christmas Day!
Take a STAR approach to the Festive Season
Whichever category you fall into, don’t let your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) get in the way.
Be aware if you feel yourself getting agitated or annoyed (i.e. The Almond Effect®). Notice it and tell yourself to calm down. It is only for this day. Don’t let the stress and tension cause you to miss the potential pleasure of having a hassle free Christmas.
Be a STAR. Stop and Think about what’s going on before you Act. Then when you reflect on the day, don’t let your brain strengthen any negative hard-wiring. Focus on the good things that happened and Rewire those.
And watch out for everyone else’s Almonds (amygdalae) too! Don’t rise to the bait.
Sugar coat the 'almonds' on this occasion – after all, it will be 365 days until the next one!
Hope you have a fabulous Festive Season and a wonderful 2010
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
CLUES Don't keep them in the dark
“Don’t share this with anybody”.
Has your boss ever said that to you? Have you ever said it to your team?
The secret might be about a restructure, change in product line, new technology, the company’s financial results, a mistake, a failure, a possible merger, something about themselves, another employee or even about your role yet you are sworn to silence.
And what about at home? Have you ever withheld something from your partner or kids? An action that’s left you feeling uncomfortable at best and dishonest at worst?
Apart from the discomfort you almost certainly experience, I am sure you’ve witnessed the effect of secrecy on people around you especially if they suspect something is up and they are already operating in an information vacuum.
People generally hate being kept in the dark. You are right if you suspect that our amygdalae are implicated in reactions to silence in ‘suspicious’ circumstances.
You are so predictable!
Let’s explore this. Most of what we do everyday we don’t need to think about - we run on ‘automatic.’ We consciously don’t need to think about what to do next – we just ‘know’. Our brain guides us to take action based on pre-existing patterns of behaviour (habits) and predictability of outcomes.
So from the moment you get out of bed to the time you go back to bed, you probably follow a comparable routine each day. We don’t like to think we are predictable but we are. We have to be otherwise our working memory would be exhausted and we would be bushed from the sheer effort of using our brains so much.
Routines are the basis of how we live
For me, my early morning outline is to get out of bed, go to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, turn on the electric jug, get my vitamins out, turn on my computer, open the sliding doors to the deck, open the front door and go down the steps to collect the newspaper, get my breakfast and so on. I don’t actively think about it - it just happens like that most mornings.
My sub-conscious brain is guiding my actions and making decisions (like, is there enough water in the jug, stop pouring milk into the bowl) based on neural patterns laid down in its hardwiring that predict outcomes
Of course, if the paper hasn’t been delivered or I’ve run out of vitamins then the routine is interrupted. Then I have to stop and think about what to do – well actually first my amygdala automatically does some checking and assesses the risk to my survival with this break in pattern.
Usually it’s no big deal because my amygdala knows based on history that the lack of vitamins or a newspaper is not life threatening!
Pattern interrupter
However if my computer tells me when I turn it on that my hard drive has failed then that’s another reaction entirely - my ‘almonds’ kick in!
I immediately have to manage my survival response (manifesting as words that it’s preferable not to use!) and stop panicking long enough to get my thinking brain (pre-frontal cortex PFC) to work out where I put the number and service code for Dell, what I backed up, what I lost and what my priorities are.
My predictable morning didn’t go as planned so The Almond Effect® kicked in – and I haven’t even been up longer than 10 minutes!
Is it the same at work?
What do you do when you get to work, do you follow the same routine? For example, it could be that you turn on the computer, get coffee, say hi to people at the workstation across from you, open your email, look at your diary etc.
No drama, all normal just as your brain predicted, unless an unexpected alert starts flashing on your screen to call your manager urgently. Your brain’s hard-wired pattern-based operation is stopped in its tracks as it rapidly tries to assess the ‘threat’ and predict what the urgency is all about.
Your amygdala is immediately on red alert asking whether the interruption is a threat to your survival. If history shows that an alert saying to call the boss immediately is likely to cause a problem, then The Almond Effect® kicks in.
I hope that because you have been in one of my workshops, you’ll immediately put STAR into operation and get your PFC engaged to think before you act!
Not knowing is worst for the brain than knowing
Uncertainty really throws our brains into a muddle because in the absence of any pattern to the contrary, our brain defaults to predict the worst outcome as its natural survival mechanism (The Almond Effect®) – even in non-life threatening situations at home or at work.
This is why you should never be surprised that withholding information, keeping secrets etc will lead to gossip (flocking) pessimism and worst case scenario interpretations.
Lack of certainty creates anxiety, frustration, gossip and innuendo – all expressions of The Almond Effect®.
And anxious people don’t concentrate or perform well –their brains are distracted - focussing on the cause of the anxiety. They are searching for any kind of predictable outcome so that the brain can operate with certainty again.
The situation is clearly exacerbated if we are already operating in an information vacuum because our brains will predict the worst case scenario so we can prepare ourselves to survive.
Applied at home, it means for example that if your teenager isn’t at the place they said they were going to, your almonds go off. If you unexpectedly find a hotel receipt in your spouse’s pocket, if your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere – you get the picture!
Implications
Whether you are implementing changes at work or trying to hide something from someone at home, be aware that if the other party’s amygdala can’t see a ‘safe’ pattern, it will get suspicious. And the natural default reaction will be to focus on the worst case interpretation of the events with all the ramifications that will flow.
That’s why most people say, just tell us what’s going on – and then we can work out how to deal with it.
If you think you are doing people a favour by only giving information on a ‘need to know’ basis, think again – brain biology wants just the opposite.
Has your boss ever said that to you? Have you ever said it to your team?
The secret might be about a restructure, change in product line, new technology, the company’s financial results, a mistake, a failure, a possible merger, something about themselves, another employee or even about your role yet you are sworn to silence.
And what about at home? Have you ever withheld something from your partner or kids? An action that’s left you feeling uncomfortable at best and dishonest at worst?
Apart from the discomfort you almost certainly experience, I am sure you’ve witnessed the effect of secrecy on people around you especially if they suspect something is up and they are already operating in an information vacuum.
People generally hate being kept in the dark. You are right if you suspect that our amygdalae are implicated in reactions to silence in ‘suspicious’ circumstances.
You are so predictable!
Let’s explore this. Most of what we do everyday we don’t need to think about - we run on ‘automatic.’ We consciously don’t need to think about what to do next – we just ‘know’. Our brain guides us to take action based on pre-existing patterns of behaviour (habits) and predictability of outcomes.
So from the moment you get out of bed to the time you go back to bed, you probably follow a comparable routine each day. We don’t like to think we are predictable but we are. We have to be otherwise our working memory would be exhausted and we would be bushed from the sheer effort of using our brains so much.
Routines are the basis of how we live
For me, my early morning outline is to get out of bed, go to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, turn on the electric jug, get my vitamins out, turn on my computer, open the sliding doors to the deck, open the front door and go down the steps to collect the newspaper, get my breakfast and so on. I don’t actively think about it - it just happens like that most mornings.
My sub-conscious brain is guiding my actions and making decisions (like, is there enough water in the jug, stop pouring milk into the bowl) based on neural patterns laid down in its hardwiring that predict outcomes
Of course, if the paper hasn’t been delivered or I’ve run out of vitamins then the routine is interrupted. Then I have to stop and think about what to do – well actually first my amygdala automatically does some checking and assesses the risk to my survival with this break in pattern.
Usually it’s no big deal because my amygdala knows based on history that the lack of vitamins or a newspaper is not life threatening!
Pattern interrupter
However if my computer tells me when I turn it on that my hard drive has failed then that’s another reaction entirely - my ‘almonds’ kick in!
I immediately have to manage my survival response (manifesting as words that it’s preferable not to use!) and stop panicking long enough to get my thinking brain (pre-frontal cortex PFC) to work out where I put the number and service code for Dell, what I backed up, what I lost and what my priorities are.
My predictable morning didn’t go as planned so The Almond Effect® kicked in – and I haven’t even been up longer than 10 minutes!
Is it the same at work?
What do you do when you get to work, do you follow the same routine? For example, it could be that you turn on the computer, get coffee, say hi to people at the workstation across from you, open your email, look at your diary etc.
No drama, all normal just as your brain predicted, unless an unexpected alert starts flashing on your screen to call your manager urgently. Your brain’s hard-wired pattern-based operation is stopped in its tracks as it rapidly tries to assess the ‘threat’ and predict what the urgency is all about.
Your amygdala is immediately on red alert asking whether the interruption is a threat to your survival. If history shows that an alert saying to call the boss immediately is likely to cause a problem, then The Almond Effect® kicks in.
I hope that because you have been in one of my workshops, you’ll immediately put STAR into operation and get your PFC engaged to think before you act!
Not knowing is worst for the brain than knowing
Uncertainty really throws our brains into a muddle because in the absence of any pattern to the contrary, our brain defaults to predict the worst outcome as its natural survival mechanism (The Almond Effect®) – even in non-life threatening situations at home or at work.
This is why you should never be surprised that withholding information, keeping secrets etc will lead to gossip (flocking) pessimism and worst case scenario interpretations.
Lack of certainty creates anxiety, frustration, gossip and innuendo – all expressions of The Almond Effect®.
And anxious people don’t concentrate or perform well –their brains are distracted - focussing on the cause of the anxiety. They are searching for any kind of predictable outcome so that the brain can operate with certainty again.
The situation is clearly exacerbated if we are already operating in an information vacuum because our brains will predict the worst case scenario so we can prepare ourselves to survive.
Applied at home, it means for example that if your teenager isn’t at the place they said they were going to, your almonds go off. If you unexpectedly find a hotel receipt in your spouse’s pocket, if your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere – you get the picture!
Implications
Whether you are implementing changes at work or trying to hide something from someone at home, be aware that if the other party’s amygdala can’t see a ‘safe’ pattern, it will get suspicious. And the natural default reaction will be to focus on the worst case interpretation of the events with all the ramifications that will flow.
That’s why most people say, just tell us what’s going on – and then we can work out how to deal with it.
If you think you are doing people a favour by only giving information on a ‘need to know’ basis, think again – brain biology wants just the opposite.
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