CLUES Up close and personal

They say you teach what you most need to learn - but did I need to be reminded so dramatically?

CLUES Talk to the boss!

Ever been apprehensive about talking to the CEO? You need to deal with it or it could become a career limiting move. Listen here for tips on talking with the boss.

CLUES The jealous amydgala

Sometimes jealousy can really cost us. In this edition of CLUES listen to an extract of 'Where Did That Come From?' If you want more go to www.AnneRiches.com/almond-effect.html

CLUES I don't intend to die

Sometimes you have to choose. Why are we so poor at succession planning? It's our amygdala again. Listen here for more.

CLUES Teenage brains - an emotional cauldron

Teenagers seem to be risk taking, fearless and reckless at times. It's not just their hormones - it's the way their brain is developing. Listen hear for more information.

CLUES My husband won't hold my hand!

Ever done irrational things based on old emotion memories? And are you risk averse or risk seeking? Listen here for some answers.

CLUES Look at me when I'm talking to you

Have you ever found yourself saying: Look at me when I'm talking to you! Well you might get a better answer if they don't. Listen here if you want to know why.

CLUES The Croc Hunter and the racing car driver

Last week Australia lost two icons - two fearless men. Listen here for more about their fear, or lack of it, and the worrying impact of anticipation

CLUES Fast but maybe furious!

Do you make 'snap judgments'? Of course you do and that's important in life threatening situations - but is it OK at work? and can you do anything about it? Listen and find out.

CLUES The High Cost of Gutlessness

Lack of courage may be costing your organisation money, people and customers. listen and find out why and what to do about it.

I burst into tears - was there a better way to handle it? (Cirstie)

Cirstie wrote:
All the girls in our office decided to go out for a girls lunch. We asked our boss (male) would that be ok and he said yes but he didn't look happy. However upon our return he was agitated and called me into the office (being the supervisor) and blasted me about all and sundry. He was so angry he was shaking and really the things he was saying were just ridiculous. There are 6 of us so we all went in different cars and he timed how long we took etc. I truly believe it was an almond reaction to not being invited to lunch. Anyhow I burst into tears because he was being so unreasonable. Did I therefore have an almond reaction to his aggressiveness and is there a better way I could have handled it?

Here's my reply:
Phew!! From what you say, it was a classic Almond Effect ® on his part! I wonder what that was about? What was he anxious about? Was there work to be done that he was frustrated might not get done and he had a lot riding on it? Was he fearful about being left out, talked about? Has he got a problem with a group of women having fun because of some past experience? I can’t possibly know without talking to him and I guess you can’t know unless you asked him. But certainly from what you have told me, your diagnosis was right.

As for your reaction, probably also right but don’t beat yourself up! Without you wanting it to do this when surprises like that happen, your amygdala interprets the event as a threat to job security, good relations with your boss, i.e. life as you know and want it – and then we react in ways that surprise us (the logical us) and afterwards we regret what we did!! Just learn from it and ask yourself what you could do differently if it ever happened again.

Without wishing to sound commercial, that why I wrote the E-book Where Did That Come From? – it gives a lot of examples of what other people have done and do in similar situations, starting with the ability to recognise what is happening to you and learning to distract your amygdala so your top brain has time to click in and get you back in control.

Hope that helps – whatever you do, don’t let it get to you. If you need to clear the air with him, think clearly how you’re going to do it, even write out a script and practice it with a person who loves you and wants to help, then go to it. Doing this pre-warns your amygdala that the situation is going to arise and hopefully allows you to stay more in control.

Otherwise let it go and try very hard not to store that memory. Whatever you do, don’t stop going out to those kinds of lunch – if you did that it would just reinforce your ‘fear’ of his reaction, and similar situations would cause you anxiety – whoever your boss might be.

Hope that helps. Taking it as you described, it’s a classic situation of poor self-control and self-awareness from a boss.

Cirstie's reply:
He is very insecure, young (only just 30 - most of us are in our 40's and beyond) and I think he does worry that he is being left out. Will have to try and include him a bit more but still ensure we have our girls days. I really don't think it had anything to do with work load although he may have been a little insecure about being asked something he didn't know how to answer while we were out.

CLUES His Boss was a Woman!

Do you know someone with IED? Intermittent Explosive Disorder? Yes it really exists - could it explain road-rage and other times when people lose it. Listen and find out.

CLUES And your greatest fear is?

"The mind is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you're born and never stops - until you get up to speak in public." Listen to the latest edition of CLUES to learn why this happens and what to do about it.

CLUES Why what you can't remember...

Ever been caught offguard by an old memory? It can be a CLM! Listen to this edition of CLUES to find out more.

Having cleared minds not to resist change, how do you maintain a culture of consistency that allows the company to attain its long term goals? (Pat)

Consistency is not just about behaviours but also about systems, processes and procedures. If people are open to the idea of change, doing something differently, but for example, the admin systems or supplier arrangements or customer interfaces don't support the new way, then it'll be almost impossible to keep your people engaged in the new direction.

The most significant contributor to culture is the way people actually behave not necessarily what the 'rules' require. So consistent approaches by managers, all managers from top to bottom, is essential. That's where strong leadership becomes essential, to not only model the way but be prepared to make tough decisions about managers and others who by their behaviours, sabotage change initiatives.

CLUES Passion Persistence Performance

In this latest edition of CLUES, check out the role of passion at work - how it can drive us to success or failure.

CLUES Do your people love or hate their jobs?

Listen to the latest edition of my e-zine and find out why some people leave their jobs and what you can do about it

CLUES Do you fear failure?

Does our fear of failure bring about the very thing we are afraid of? Listen to this issue of CLUES and learn how to deal with this fear more effectively.

CLUES Let's talk about Love!

Listen to the latest edition of CLUES and learn about the amygdala in love and out of control!

CLUES - Why deadlines drive you crazy

Why do deadlines drive you crazy? In this issue of CLUES, you'll learn how to deal with deadlines more effectively.