You can't share this with anybody

You can't share this with anybody

Has your boss ever said something like the words in the title to you? Have you ever said it to a member of your team?

The secret might be about a restructure, change in product line, new technology, the company's financial results, a mistake, a failure, a possible merger, something about themselves, another employee or even about your role yet you are sworn to silence.

And what about at home? Have you ever withheld something from your partner or kids? An action that's left you feeling uncomfortable at best and dishonest at worst?

Apart from the discomfort you almost certainly experience, I am sure you've witnessed the effect of secrecy on people around you especially if they suspect something and already feel they are operating in an information vacuum.

People generally hate being kept in the dark. You are right if you suspect that our amygdalae are implicated in reactions to silence in ‘suspicious' circumstances.

We are so predictable!

Let's explore this. Most of what we do everyday we don't need to think about - we run on ‘automatic.' We consciously don't need to think about what to do next - we just ‘know'. Our brain guides us to take action based on pre-existing patterns of behaviour (habits) and predictability of outcomes.

So from the moment you get out of bed to the time you go back to bed, you probably follow a similar routine every day.

We don't like to think we are predictable but we are. We have to be otherwise our working memory would be exhausted and we would be whacked from the sheer effort of using our brains so much.

Routines are the basis of how we live

For me, my early morning outline is to get out of bed, go to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, turn on the electric jug, get my vitamins out, turn on my computer, open the sliding doors to the deck, open the front door and go down the steps to collect the newspaper, get my breakfast and so on. I don't actively think about it - it just happens like that most mornings.

My sub-conscious brain is guiding my actions and making decisions (like, is there enough water in the jug, stop pouring milk into the bowl) based on neural patterns laid down in its hardwiring that predicts outcomes.

Of course, if the paper hasn't been delivered or I've run out of vitamins then the routine is interrupted. I have to stop and think about what to do - well actually first, my amygdala automatically does some checking and assesses the risk to my survival with this break in pattern.

Usually it's no big deal because my amygdala knows based on history, that the lack of vitamins or a newspaper is not life threatening!

Pattern interrupter

However if my computer tells me when I turn it on that its hard drive has failed then that's another reaction entirely - my ‘almonds' (the english translation of amygdalae) kick in!

I immediately have to manage my survival response (manifesting as words that it's preferable not to use!) and stop panicking long enough to get my thinking brain (pre-frontal cortex PFC) to work out where I put the number and service code for Apple, what I backed up, what I lost and what my priorities are.

My predictable morning didn't go as planned so The Almond Effect® kicked in - and I haven't even been up longer than 10 minutes!

Is it the same at work?

What do you do when you get to work, do you follow the same routine? For example, it could be that you turn on the computer, get coffee, say hi to people at the workstation across from you, open your email, look at your calendar etc.

No drama, all normal just as your brain predicted, unless an unexpected message starts flashing on your screen to call your manager urgently. Your brain's hard-wired pattern-based operation is stopped in its tracks as it rapidly tries to assess the ‘threat' and predict what the urgency is all about.

Your amygdala is immediately on red alert asking whether the interruption is a threat to your survival. If your personal history indicates that an a message to call the boss immediately is likely to cause a problem, then The Almond Effect® kicks in.

That's when you'll be glad you've been to one of my workshops, because you'll immediately put STAR into operation and get your PFC engaged to think before you act!

Not knowing is worst for the brain than knowing

Uncertainty really throws our brains into a spin because in the absence of any pattern to the contrary, our brain defaults to predict the worst outcome The Almond Effect®) - even in non-life threatening situations at home or at work.

This is why you should never be surprised that withholding information, keeping secrets etc will lead to gossip (flocking) pessimism and worst case scenario interpretations.

Lack of certainty creates anxiety, frustration, gossip and innuendo - all expressions of The Almond Effect®.

And anxious people don't concentrate or perform well - their brains are distracted - focussing on the cause of the anxiety. They are searching for any kind of predictable outcome so that the brain can operate with certainty again.

The situation is exacerbated if we are already operating in an information vacuum because our brains will predict the worst case scenario so we can prepare ourselves to survive.

Applied at home, it means for example that if your teenager isn't at the place they said they were going to, your 'almonds' go off. If you unexpectedly find a hotel receipt in your spouse's pocket, if your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere etc - you get the picture!

Implications

Whether you are implementing changes at work or trying to hide something from someone at home, be aware that if the other party's amygdala can't see a ‘safe' pattern, it will get suspicious. And the natural default reaction will be to focus on the worst case interpretation of the events with all the ramifications that will flow.

That's why most people say, just tell us what's going on - and then we can work out how to deal with it.

If you think you are doing people a favour by only giving information on a ‘need to know' basis, think again - brain biology wants just the opposite.

Do you sabotage your own change management?

Resistance from the start

David was really frustrated. He was the leader of a team that sold luxury cars. As part of the company's renewed focus on improving customer service, his boss asked him to make sure that his team followed up with 1 in 4 of their customers two weeks after a sale to ensure they were happy with their new car.

As part of this process the sales rep had to complete and send the customer's responses to the customer service department.

Some members of David's team were reluctant. They resisted the change in process.

They said things like:

• we never had to do this before - they just want us to do more but without any extra resources

• we haven't got time

• why should we do it when we just cop flack because of problems that are not in our area

• it's just a fad - we've tried it before and nothing happens even if we send them the feedback

And before long, the more often the ‘resistors' said such things, more team members started to put the follows ups on their backburner!

Had David implemented the change badly??

David thought he had worked with his team to minimize resistance to change. He said he had implemented the things I have talked about previously i.e. the RIV model:

1. Reasons: he believed his team knew and understood the reasons for the new process. It was part of the company's drive to get employees to take responsibility for their role in the bigger business picture and improve the company's brand and reputation. That would translate into new, and importantly, repeat sales and loyalty. He had told them this in the weekly team meeting.

2. Implications: David said that he told them about the change in work process at the team meeting, then asked them to identify and think about the implications and consequences of the new process.

He asked them to raise any questions, their ‘what if's' and any fears. As very few questions or concerns had been raised, David believed that the team was comfortable with the new way of doing things.

3. Values: again David believed that the team would be comfortable that the new process fitted with their values.

He was confident that his team would be happy with any process that ensured the customer was satisfied with the way they and the company delivered on its promises.

So why was the team so reluctant to implement the new process?

When we asked the team members, they gave us a number of responses. For example, the work used to be done by another department that had just been closed down for ‘efficiency' reasons. The team felt they were just pawns in a cost cutting game.

They also said that their performance agreements were based on the number of sales they made so there was nothing in it for them to take the time to follow up with all the extra work involved, especially if the customer wasn't happy.

But some of the most interesting comments were about David. For example, "whenever we raise issues about work, David always promises to look into it and get back to us but he never does."

And this: "David told us about this new process one day before it came into operation. We just didn't have time to figure out how it would work and how we would fit it in."

One of the most revealing comments was this: "Well David himself doesn't agree with it. He told us that he thought it was a waste of time but that management said we had to do it."

David is a role model - for what?

What was David doing as the role model here? What behaviours and attitudes was he modelling? Has he sabotaged his own attempts to get his team following the new process?

Think about children. How do they learn what to do, what's acceptable and what's not? What will bring rewards, what won't?

Mostly it's about observation and copying. I remember a party and hearing the three year daughter of some friends saying to the child she was playing with: "I simply can't take this anymore" and slamming down her drink. Where on earth did that come from? All I know is that the mother turned bright red and the father looked equally as embarrassed.

Walk your talk

In the same way I remember the look on my mother's face and the tone of her voice when she said: "Do as I say, not as I do" in response to my cheeky responses like:" Why should I do that? You don't....." She knew I'd caught her out.

Whether we are at work or at home, our brains are always looking for shortcuts, for clues what to do and how to behave to ensure ‘survival'.

We subconsciously take our lead from those around us especially those who are higher up the pecking order. David has said he doesn't agree with the new process. He's the boss. So without thinking it's easy to just imitate. After all, he's the leader.

We call this vicarious learning where simply by observing what goes on around us our brain learns what will we enhance our quality of life, bring rewards, ensure in basic terms our ‘survival' and what won't.

If we see someone pick up a poisonous snake and be fatally bitten, we learn not to do that without having to do it ourselves.

If you see someone burned their hand on a barbeque plate, you know not to do it.

If you see someone at work being successful even though they are not adhering to the stated values like co-operation or teamwork or supporting the new work processes, then why wouldn't you do the same?

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Mirror neurons may play a big role in this. We know that emotions are contagious. A sad or miserable person in an office can bring the whole mood of the office down. Just like a happy movie or upbeat music can change our mood and lift us if we are feeling blue. Why does this happen?

Way back in 1992, some neuroscientists working with monkeys discovered, by accident it seems, that when the monkeys observed a researcher eating an ice-cream, neurons lit up in the monkeys brain that mimicked the mechanical action of eating an ice-cream. The neurons fired as a mirror of what was being observed.

This research has been replicated in humans many times since. I know that you can think of examples. E.g. if you are watching a movie, the TV or in real life, do you wince when you see something painful happen to another person? I do it all the time when I'm watching rugby and see a heavy tackle. So does the crowd - even been there and part of a big ‘oooooowwwwwwhhhh'?

And I cringe if I hear someone say something sarcastic to a colleague. Because of our mirror neurons, our brain ‘feels' what the other person is feeling. It's not surprising that mirror neurons are sometimes called empathy neurons.

As a manager, you are always on show

The critical message for us as managers is that when we have to bring about changes in the behaviour of others at work (or at home for that matter) we need to be actively conscious that subconsciously our team's mirror neurons are watching us for information about how to behave.

We should also remember that if we are inconsistent in what we say and what we do, our employees' amygdalae will register the discrepancy and start working out what's the best course of action to take to ensure ‘survival' in the work environment.

Unless our staff is actively engaging their pre-frontal cortex, the logical and rational response, then without thinking they are likely to take the apparently proven route - i.e. to behave like the boss. And given how busy people are and how much pressure we are all under, we should not be surprised when people act just like us.

David was his own saboteur

As soon as David realized all this brain activity was going on, he realized that he was sending all the wrong subliminal messages about behaviour to his team.

If he didn't follow up on issues his own team raised with him, then what messages was he sending them about following up with customers especially as they perceived it to be an onerous task with no reward.

If David said he thought it was a waste of time anyway, what was it that his team's empathy neurons were figuring out? Probably that you don't have to agree with what management wants and you can still get to manager level. So why bother. The fad will pass anyway.

What do you do to reinforce the kind of behaviours you want in your team? Are you consistent with the messages that you deliver? Do you believe in what you want your people to do? Do you model the customer service behaviours you ask of them in the way you treat your staff?

They're not called mirror neurons for nothing. Go find a mirror and see if what you see is what they get.

Dealing with Resistance to Change

Do your employees like change?

When I ask this question of participants in my change leadership workshops, the answer is almost overwhelmingly no.

But when I ask part two of the question: do YOU like change – the answer is usually overwhelmingly yes!

Isn’t that curious? What happens when you become the boss? Do you go through some magic door and change your mindset about change?

I think the answer is often yes.  And if we think about why this happens, it may give us some clues to getting our people on board not just in the short term but for the long haul so change is part of ‘business as usual’.

And change is ‘business as usual’, so why does it still consume vast amounts of our time? Why do managers still find themselves dealing with pockets of resistance and negative attitudes?

Let’s look at a couple of things about your role as a leader of change:

- your own mindset

- you as a role model

Your Mindset

What is the difference in your mindset when you are a driver of change and when you are a recipient of change?

For example: think about a time when you decided to move home. You might have been offered a promotion or opportunity that involves relocation.

On the other hand, you might have lost your job and need to find work elsewhere. You might want to move closer to (or further from!) other family members. You might just want a change of scenery or lifestyle – it could be for a myriad of reasons.

By the time you have reached your decision, you have thought about all the reasons why it’s a good thing to move as well as all the reasons why not. You have mulled over the consequences of doing it and the consequences of not. You have thought about the financial, physical and emotional costs.

You have worked out how all these changes may affect you. You have been excited by the best possible outcomes of the move and faced up to or at least given some thought to the worst possible outcomes. You’re ready. You know what you’re going to do and how to deal with whatever will, crop up.

Many of these thoughts will be conscious and deliberate (logical and reasoned) but some will also be just feelings and intuition (an emotional or intuitive response).

After what’s gone on in your mind, you’re now in the driver’s seat. You’re in control. It’s your decision.

Of course, there is that small issue of your partner’s objections – they love your existing home. It’s peaceful, all established. Everything in its place. The neighbours are great – they will even look after the mail and the cat and keep an eye out for intruders if you go away. A routine exists – and given how much is going on in your lives, at least your partner felt secure knowing something was stable, home.

Then there are the kids. Why should they have to change schools? They “couldn’t live without their friends”, “you are so cruel” – you know what I mean.

Spot the difference?

It’s obvious isn’t it? As the initiator of the decision to move you’ve completed a three-step process – the RIV approach.

1. Reasons: We know and understand the reason for the change

2. Implications: We’ve have thought about the implications and consequences – personal, social, financial, environmental etc. We’ve faced and answered the ‘what if’s’ and our fears. We’ve looks at the positives as well as the negatives. i.e. we’ve dealt with The Almond Effect®.

3. Values: We’re comfortable that the decision fits in with our values, the way we want to live our lives.

Contrast your partner and kids – they may be able to tick off step 1 but if they aren’t jumping up and down with excitement then they certainly aren’t yet fully across steps two and three.  In fact you might be facing overt and covert or passive resistance.

Unless you help them deal with steps 2 and 3, your move may be more trouble than its worth if you want to keep your relationships in tact.

Emotions not logic

The logical component of change is clearly in RIV step 1, knowing and understanding the reasons for the change. There’s a mixture of logic and emotion in step 2. It’s pretty well all emotion in step 3.

And we know which is the most powerful and the hardest. Dealing with emotional responses – a consequence of how our brains function.

How does this appy at work to facilitate change?

Interestingly, many organizations think they do step 1 (explaining the Reasons) very well. And many do. However, it is worth questioning this: if you are experiencing resistance, ask your people to share their understanding of:

• Why the changes in systems, processes, procedures, behaviour etc are necessary? 
• What’s driving the need for change?
• What will be better because of the changes? 
• What will be worse if things don't change?
• How does this fit into the big picture, the overall plan or framework? 
• Their "WIFM" (what's in it for me?) of the changes compared to the previous way of doing things? 

In fact, could you, as the manager/supervisor sum up the compelling need for change in plain language in 25 words or less?

I am surprised how often organizations think they have completed step 1 yet the feedback shows there are still gaps in understanding why, the reasons for change.

If it's not logical, it's emotional

If your resistors can tell you the reasons for the change, then obviously the logic is OK but there is still something holding them back. It can only be their emotional responses.

Some they might share with you. Others they might not either because they don’t want to (and that’s a big area for discussion in itself) or perhaps even more frustrating, they can’t even articulate them themselves.

Changing your own attitude to change

Usually, when you become the driver of change or at least the implementer as a supervisor, team leader or manager, you have had the benefit and experience of looking at change from a business level. You may have been involved in identifying the problems or challenges and coming up with the solutions.

As part of this process, you will have worked through the logic and had the opportunity to work through your emotional reactions as well.

e.g. what will this change mean for me and the company? How will it improve the way we do things around here and my workload? My bonus is riding on getting this done and that means a holiday for the family or maybe a new car. My boss will see that I have done a good job and so promotion or a raise may be an outcome.

So before you have to get others to change, you and most managers in change scenarios, have completed the 3 step RIV process – you understand the reasons, have looked at the implications and how it fits with your values. So you’re there, the change makes sense and you want to be part of it.

But your people (or your family!) may be lagging well behind you in the process. The RIV approach explains why you just want to get on with it - because you have already dealt with your logical and emotional reactions (consciously or unconsciously) – but if others haven't completed that process, don't be surprised that they don't share your enthusiasm yet

Different mindsets about change

So I think there often is a difference in mindset about change between managers and staff – usually because of the timing and opportunity to go through the 3 RIV step model.

The implication of this is that if your projects are off track, blowing out budgets, timeframes or requiring more resources – check how you are tracking on the RIV model with the people who are impacted, directly and indirectly, by the change. What assumptions have you made where your employees are in the RIV process? How can you find out and/or measure this? Where there are gaps, what are you doing to assist them through? It’s time consuming in the short-term but vastly more effective overall.

Would you like some more information and assistance with working this through with your people? 

Please don't hesitate to contact me Anne@AnneRiches.com if you would like some more in depth application, facilitation and tools for this process. It's amazing what a small intervention can do to get your business change on track.

Future Blog Post

One critical component to getting others to change is you – you as a role model.

In a future post we’ll look at your impact as a role model of change – do you unconsciously sabotage your own efforts?

It's coming - direct information download into your brain - hook me up now!

Want to learn to fly a helicopter in a few minutes? Learn a new language in seconds? Shakespeare's works before you go to the theatre?

According to Nicholas Negroponte - this is not just science fiction. It's almost here:

Watch now

When will this shopping game changer get to Sydney?

Tesco Homeplus Virtual Subway Store South Korea

Shopping while you're waiting for a train (it's delivered once you get home!), is an example of what Dominic Thurbon describes as digital disruption:  

"... digital disruption means that schools, supermarkets and banks are not just ‘places’ anymore, and so it is the same with ‘work’.
Digital disruption means that work is not a place. It’s put beautifully in the World of Work report from Randstad: work is changing from a being place that you go, into a collaborative process."

So if work is not a place, then:

"Some of the obvious effects of this are already clear – flexible working arrangements, remote teams, virtualisation are becoming de facto norms in many organisations. Although it is also worth noting that there is growing evidence that management capability is not keeping pace with the changes in work style (many managers, for example, are used to managing teams by presence and visibility, which obviously doesn’t work when your team is remote, and must be managed by productivity and output!)"

Game changer indeed - requiring masterful change leadership. Is your organisation up to this kind of challenge?


reshaping the world of work for hiring managers & HR professionals

White paper by Dominic Thurbon

Do you have anxious and scary situations at work?

Alone at the station

 8.15pm - alone on a long empty platform waiting for the 8.30pm train from London Paddington to Heathrow. Another person appeared. He had the entire platform to choose a spot to wait but he came and stood next to me. My heart started to race.

‘Stop it’ I said to my amygdala.

‘Calm down’ I said to my hypothalamus but it continued to flood my body with adrenaline.

All my amygdalae could see was a “young man of middle eastern appearance with a backpack.”

My pre-frontal cortex was appalled and embarrassed at my limbic system response. My cortex had no idea whether the young man was from the Middle East or not – and even if he was, so what?

I used the STAR model:

• I Stopped. I took deep breaths. 
• I Thought. I kept telling myself that my reaction was irrational and that my body should calm down.
• I Acted - I stayed put but was consciously reframing my ridiculous thoughts for what they were - limbic mania over rational awareness.

Eventually the 8.30pm train arrived. I stepped on, sat down and my heart rate slowed.

Deep in the ocean

Two months later, off the Neptune Islands in South Australia I was in a cage heading towards the ocean floor hoping to get up close and personal with some Great White Sharks.

One came soon enough - ‘Cheeky Girl’ – 4.2 metres and 1000 kg. She was BIG! And I saw her many teeth as she passed several times within a metre of me while she attempted to snatch the bait hanging off the back of the boat!

The 30 minutes in the cage passed in a flash.

Did my life flash before my eyes?

Back on board I realised that my heart rate had hardly increased when I came face to face with this enormous predator. All I felt was awe and wonder as I watched one of the most amazing animals I have ever seen.

So what was the difference?

Why did I experience the fight/flight response so fully on a London train platform but not at all when within touching distance of a Great White Shark?

How much can you can prepare for scary situations?

The answer lies in preparation and learning (Rewiring) from experience.

Some of you will recall from a previous post that I searched for GWS once before. But even with 3 days of turning the ocean red with burly including tuna heads, blood and guts – no shark appeared on that trip. So much for ‘blood in the water attracts sharks!’

However what we did do on that ‘no show’ trip was to talk a lot about GWS with experts, practice descents in the cage, watch videos, look at GWS photos and listen to research – all of which prepared us for the recent trip – and took away the fear.

In contrast, the man on the platform was a complete surprise. It was the end of a fabulous trip to the UK; I had just been shopping in Oxford Street and was looking forward to returning to Sydney.

I simply wasn’t focussed on what was happening on the platform or that any risks or dangers could be lurking there.

So I was unprepared for the possibility that a man could appear on the platform and trigger an ANT (automatic negative thought) that cracked my almonds (amygdalae) with a sledgehammer!

And I had no previous experience from which to train my amygdala not to react to a racist stereotype automatically stored in my brain’s ‘database of nasty things’ after September 11, 2001.

Face the fear and defuse your amygdala

At work, ‘the man on the platform’ might turn up as a surprise outburst from the boss; an urgent deadline abruptly imposed; a retrenchment to be made, a dramatic fall in share price or an unanticipated cut in funding.

But ‘Cheeky Girl’ could show up when you anticipate the performance appraisal next week, a future presentation to the Board, an interview for a promotion, the switch over to a new system.

In other words, there will be some sudden and unexpected events that will catch us off guard. At those times, it is likely that we’ll experience The Almond Effect® - the fight/flight response in a pyschologically not physically threatening situation- even though our lives are not at risk.

When that happens, use the STAR technique – and focus especially on Rewiring afterwards – what can you learn from the experience? The more times you experience something confronting, the less confronting it becomes. Your amygdala learns that it is nothing to be overly concerned about.

But do not beat yourself up for reacting even though your pre-frontal cortex knows you should not have. We are hard wired for survival and our amygdalae do not know the difference between physical and psychological threats.

However when you know that a ‘scary’ situation is coming up (Cheeky Girl) – do everything you can to minimise the impact of The Almond Effect® by preparing as much as possible. Show your amygdala that there are no potentially fatal consequences to what you are about to do.

Then perhaps you’ll even enjoy coming face to face with your Great White Shark!

Sleep off your toxic memories

Would you like to simply sleep off toxic memories?

This may be possible one day due to the work of John O'Keefe the first neuroscientist to win a Nobel Prize.

Some french scientists have inserted a new memory into a mouse when sleeping.

And you thought that it was still a sci-fi notion .......

Check out the short news item here

Are you a totally predictable boss?

The power of patterns The Almond Effect® is when our amygdala recognises a pattern in its most rudimentary form, instantly assesses that it could be a threat to our ‘survival' and triggers us to react inappropriately to the ‘danger'. Of course, everyday our brain relies on non-thinking patterns that don't trigger The Almond Effect so we can get on with our lives. That's why we are ‘creatures of habit'. We get into 'safe' ways of behaving, patterns, because then we don't have to think about it, we just ‘do'. It's less stressful and takes up less brain energy. Change, even good change, is demanding Yet anyone who has ever tried to change their diet or give up cigarettes, move to a new city, take on a new work role, learn a new language, work with different software, study a new subject, improve a long used swimming style (or your golf swing!) and a myriad of other examples - you know how demanding and tiring making those changes can be. Your brain finds it draining. Even good changes, eg getting a great new boss or work colleague, buying a new phone or tablet, these can be difficult as your brain has already laid down patterns of behaviour attached to working with the previous person or device.  And that's why it's hard to get people to change at work and indeed, at home. We prefer the status quo Unless we are highly motivated and determinedly ‘think' our way to persist and be resilient during the challenges of laying down new patterns, our brain will always prefer to rely on existing patterns rather than have to learn and lay down new ones. That's why if we don't maintain the determination to keep trying, we (and our people) just slip back into the old ways. It's simply easier - and, automatic! Patterns are our default For example, we lay down multiple new brain patterns when we are learning to drive, but once we have mastered the skills, it's easy and becomes almost a ‘non active thinking' skill.  How many times have you driven somewhere and didn't even notice the journey as your mind was pre-occupied with something else. Scary at times! But if you were driving in another country where they drive on the other side of the road, I suspect you'd be concentrating on every moment - until your brain had ‘got' the new pattern! Same thing happens at work - we get into ways of working and behaviours that make work life easier for us and then rarely think about them - especially if the patterns deliver results. Shrieking Sharapova One of many great sporting examples of this is Maria Sharapova. She, like many other tennis players and other sportspeople, have a pattern that they repeat before every shot. And I mean every one. Between each shot, she walks to the back of the court. Then, if serving she selects the tennis ball she is going to use to serve and approaches the base line. She takes a breath, looks at the part of the court she is serving to, slowly bounces the ball on the court twice, and then serves. Every time! It is fascinating. Clearly she uses this pattern to get focussed, get her nerves and adrenaline under control and make winning shots. Though even when she is losing, she never breaks the routine. This is a conscious use of a brain pattern that she knows usually works, even when it isn't actually delivering the results, to make sure that she doesn't lose her cool, fall prey to The Almond Effect® and do something rash, impulsive, without thinking and contrary to her years of training. Manager's patterns aren't always helpful The challenge with patterns is that because they happen without thinking, sometimes we don't realise the impact of our behaviours (patterns) on others. For example, the manager who never looks up when someone comes into their office - what message does that pattern send to the staff member? The CEO who never makes any announcements that have any good news - what signal does that pattern send to staff? What do you think is their state of mind, their expectation, whenever the CEO indicates their intention to make an announcement or visit? Other examples: Managers who don't work with their team to formulate new organisational strategies because "what's the point, the CEO will do it his way anyway." And he does. Why would you be surprised when these managers complain that the CEO is an autocrat and he complains that they don't co-operate. Both parties are set in their own patterns of behaviour, both reinforcing each other's. What about trying to improve safety by changing uniforms in a manufacturing environment? What if the employees are used to uniforms with long sleeves and you want them to wear short sleeves. Or vice versa? Seems on the face of it like a small thing. Yet because of the change required in mental patterns (try listing them from the employees' point of view), such a request can present real challenges for managers implementing change. We have unhelpful patterns we're not even conscious of And outside work. Have you ever said something like: I don't like sour cream on potatoes - but in fact have never tasted it? Or "I've always vote Liberal" or "Labor" as the case may be - why? Because your parents always did. Where do those choices/patterns come from and what makes us stop, or not stop, and review them? You know you have a pattern that you've never reviewed when you say or think to yourself: "I've never really thought about it". Or someone says to you: 'you are so predictable' and you're staggered that you are! So how predictable are you? In fact, have you ever thought or said to someone else: "you're so predictable". How often has anyone ever said that to you? Do you just ‘know' how someone is going to react to a certain situation, what they are going to say? Would they say the same about you? It's hard work to lay down new patterns especially if the old ones seem to have worked well enough so far. The first step to overcoming the negative and stressful impacts of The Almond Effect is to stop and reflect on what's going on for you at that moment. It's about developing self-awareness. It's about looking at what automatic behaviours you engage in, or what automatic assumptions you make, without thinking, just on reflex. Try this Ask a trusted work colleague if they can predict how you would react (behave) if: - a new IT system was introduced - a new manager was hired from outside over internal competition - your boss got a new expensive car - you were asked to stay - back late for the third night in a row You get the kind of examples I'm thinking of. And what about at home: what's predictable? About you? About someone you share your home with? Not that there is anything wrong with predictability. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, patterns help us live our lives less stressfully, usually. Good leaders try to discover and reflect on their patterns In order to change and to build leadership skills, we must develop and hone the ability to reflect on our patterns, good and bad, and assess their impact on others and how much they contribute towards our goals. Sometimes understanding this can be the most important step we can take towards becoming a great manager. Please feel free to forward this to a colleague

Do you work for a disrespectful boss ? So do over 10,000 others

A study of  20,000 employees around the world shows that being treated with respect is more important than recognition, appreciation, an inspiring vision, useful feedback or opportunities for learning growth and development.

Yet over half said they were not treated with respect leading to less engagement, more turnover, less focus, greater health costs. Any surprises here?

To try and figure out why through a separate smaller survey by the same author, 60% of that group said they were uncivil because they are overloaded and have no time to be nice.  

When my mother was teaching me how to communicate with people, she never explained that being respectful took extra time. She always told me that it was a matter of choice and that if I chose respect I would reap the benefits.

Mum - over 10,000 others say you were right!

Read the article here

What to do when you boss doesn't motivate you

We've all had them.  Bosses who don't inspire us to do anything let alone work more than we have to. So what can we do when leaving isn't a choice?

Here are some useful tips about how to deal with that.

Click here.

The high cost of gutlessness

Is Courage missing in your organisation?

Have you stopped to assess the cost of lack of courage in your organisation?

For example: have you costed the failure to manage poor performers? Or the cost of lost productivity when team dynamics go awry and no-one has the courage to deal with the situation because "I don't want to upset them".

What about the cost to an organisation where GroupThink prevails at the very top?

Is your CEO is surrounded by ‘yes' people who, often due to a heightened sense of self-preservation and a fear of rocking the boat, fail to challenge the CEO about the strategic direction of the company or some other decision or direction where the CEO has got it wrong or is in danger of making a big mistake?

The origins of courage

Here's what Charles A. Smith has to say:

"Courage is persevering despite fear. It is gumption, grit, and the capacity to get up after a setback, with one's heart on fire..

The word comes from the French 'curage' for "putting one's heart into action." Courage is an essential virtue, a source of strength that contributes to all significant human endeavors. Every great accomplishment requires courage. 

Courage simply is "making the decision to do what you know is right."
A day comes in every person's life when there is a choice between acting out of fear or doing the right thing. 

Courage finds its roots in two fundamental skills learned during early childhood: persevering despite adversity and remaining mindful despite fear.

This wariness and self-protection are critical skills. 

The problem with fear, though, is that its arousal can trigger mind-numbing panic. The natural push of fear to flight makes self-control challenging. Courage, like all growth, requires taking risks.

Remaining mindful despite fear means acting with grace under pressure. It means learning to link the thinking part of our brains (the cortex) with the emotional arousal in the center of our brains (the limbic system)."

Charles A. Smith, PhD, parent educator and extension specialist in the School of Family Studies and Human and Human Services at Kansas State University in Manhattan Smith, C.A. 2005. First steps to mighty hearts: The origins of courage.

Three recent examples where courage was missing - and yes, these are true

Example one: A manager devised a 360 degree performance feedback scheme for himself and his team with a rating of 1 to 5 where five was ‘above and well beyond expectations' and one was essentially abysmal. When he received the feedback forms from his team (who acted very courageously), he received mostly ones and twos. He simply told his team that they would re-do the assessment in 6 months time and promptly filed the feedback in a bin.

Example two: at a major retail outlet in Sydney, the system for queuing and paying was so disorganised and customers were getting irritated about the length of the wait for service. When the store manager was told the system was not working, she responded: "well it's been alright up to now" and walked away. So clearly the customers were the problem!!

Another customer followed up with: ‘We are trying to give you some helpful feedback", to which she replied: "there's nothing wrong with the system". Then the store started to lose big money as angry customers put down their intended purchases and simply walked out. Finally after further interchanges, the manager said: "Look I only do what I'm told. It's nothing to do with me" and walked away.

I was astonished to have witnessed this and became even more so when another staff member was saying under her breath: "Let her have it!"

Example three: prior to an off-site managers' workshop to discuss how to move the organisation forward, the staff had given extensive confidential feedback to the facilitator about the financial results/mood dependent chief executive and how that led to a lack of trust in the promises that the CEO made. Poor results would usually mean the CEO would do a back flip on previous promises. This in turn led to nervousness on the part of the staff to take risks or a long term approach to the business.

When finally one person had the courage to raise this during the workshop, he was not supported by the other members of staff; nor did the CEO accept what was being said. The trust issue remained unresolved and needless to say, no real progress made on the issue of how to move the company forward.

Do you surround yourself with courageous people? 

 You should - it's an employee retention strategy.

It's a courageous act to surround yourself with courageous people and what an extraordinary place it would be to work. People would be challenged to grow and contribute, listen, be listened to, think outside the square and feel valued and supported. This is what employees tell us they want so see it as part of your employee retention strategy.

Your customers would also benefit as the culture of being courageous would extend to the way staff dealt with customers, listening carefully to their feedback and ideas for improvement. What a low cost way to do research that would improve your performance in the market place.

So why do we hold back? 

What can we do about it? What holds us back from being as courageous as we could be? The Almond Effect ® - our fear based on past experiences. Let me share the first step in overcoming The Almond Effect with an extract from my e-book: "Where Did That Come From?"

What can we do about it?

"Start by identifying the physical sensations you experience prior to, or during, an episode of The Almond Effect ®. Think back to times when you ‘lost it'. What were you feeling, physically? Tick the ones that apply to you on this list.

• Increased heart rate     
• Sweaty palms and/or underarms     
• Trembling or shaking     
• Blushing     
• Butterflies in the stomach     
• Nausea        
• Tight neck and shoulders        
• Foot tapping or finger drumming        
• Teeth grinding     
• Increased, erratic or shallow breathing     
• Add your own:        

When you did notice the sensation - was it already too late to do anything about it?

What could you have done if you'd gone into reaction management mode straight away, as soon as you noticed the sensation?

What could you try to do differently when you feel these things in the future?
Make some notes about your answers to these questions somewhere where you can look at them often, especially your answer to question three.

Start training yourself to become body aware so that when you notice any of these physical reactions begin to develop, so you can take steps to get yourself back in control. Whatever you do, don't forget to breathe!"

Change Leader Programs

Anne Riches offers 1/2 day, 1 to 2 days, and longitudinal programs that develop managers into better change leaders who deliver growth and productivity for their business. 

However acquiring the mindset and capability to deliver through successful leadership competencies doesn't happen as a quick fix.

The more you put in, the more you get out.

The focus is on leading the people side of change as an effective, inspirational and motivational leader - it's not simply or only about processes and models. It's about holding a mirror up and discovering whether you see a genuine change leader. 

if you do, we'll build on it. if you don't, we work to make you the best leader you can be.

For more information, contact Anne at anne@anneriches.com

And see her website for testimonials from businesses that have benefited from Anne's interventions: www.anneriches.com

Want to see inside the brain of a psychopath?

Great little news clip describing MRI scanning of 3500 inmates brains. They found their amygdala are smaller.

Click here to watch it.

So I wonder what this means for the prisoner and the non-prisoner population in the future?

Many have written that psychopaths roam company corridors in the guise of CEOs and Executives.

Maybe we should install MRI scanners at the door of every meeting to determine who comes in?

What sets leaders (and losers) apart?

 Each year Boss magazine publishes a list of Young Executives of the Year.

Particularly interesting is a list I saw a year or so back of the tendencies of those who don't have what it takes to be on the list:

• Have good ideas but lack the ability to execute them
  
• Have closed discussions and make assumptions
  
• Derail frequently and let the dark side of their personality affect their work and relationships at work
  
• Be arrogant rather than inclusive
  
• Miss opportunities to use empathy
  
• Micro-manage instead of delegate
  
• Be impulsive rather than evidence based in decision
  
• Lack perception about how others are feeling
  
• Get confused about managing who they are as people and what's required in the role

Almost everything on the list stems from inadequate insights about themselves, what makes them who they are and their affect on others - in other words self-leadership.

A huge component of that involves The Almond Effect® - understanding how the stressors and challenges of everyday life trigger our primitive survival (flight/fight/flock/freeze) instincts.

The best leaders know that each one of us is the sum of our experiences and that, unless we monitor our behaviors and actions, our brains are hardwired will take us by shortest, most well trodden route to action. This is fine if the action is appropriate but not fine if we end up reacting in ways that are inappropriate either for others or for ourselves.

The change organ

Our brains can and do change - it's called neuro-plasticity. However, it takes courage to deeply examine what makes us tick and triggers our immediate non-thinking behaviors.

Changing embedded patterns of behavior can be hard without determination and practice.

We can change our brains by changing our minds. But you have to stay on track. Understanding The Almond Effect® and mastering STAR helps you do that.

Change Leader Programs

Anne Riches offers 1/2 day, 1 to 2 days, and longitudinal programs that develop managers into better change leaders who deliver growth and productivity for their business. 

However acquiring the mindset and capability to deliver through successful leadership competencies doesn't happen as a quick fix.

The more you put in, the more you get out.

The focus is on leading the people side of change as an effective, inspirational and motivational leader - it's not simply or only about processes and models. It's about holding a mirror up and discovering whether you see a genuine change leader. 

if you do, we'll build on it. if you don't, we work to make you the best leader you can be.

For more information, contact Anne at anne@anneriches.com

And see her website for testimonials from businesses that have benefited from Anne's interventions: www.anneriches.com

Give your money away - it will make you happier! Try this test.

Imagine that every morning someone gives you an envelope with either $5 or $20. You never know which. And each day you are asked to either spend it on a treat for yourself, or spend it on a gift for someone else. Then that same person calls you at 5pm to ask how your day went. How do you feel?

Click here to find out how you might feel.....

Build a change platform, not a change program

Terrific article from McKinseys on re-imagining change.

Build a change platform, not a change program

The authors suggest that many executives still see change as an interruption that has to be managed instead of continuous experience. But that's what most organisations are set up for.

I especially agree with their suggestion that the role of an executive should be change enable in chief not change agent in chief. Well said!

I wish I hadn't pressed 'send'

‘I wish I hadn't sent that': Gmail uses STAR

The whole point of learning STAR, the antidote to The Almond Effect®, is to stop ourselves acting impulsively, in the wrong way, at the wrong time, for the wrong reason, when something stirs us up or catches us off-guard.

In the Gmail Labs, there is a fabulous tool that is doing just that.

It gives us a second chance to Stop and Think before we send an email we will regret.

Turn on the ‘Undo Send' feature in Gmail by going to Settings then Labs. Then when you hit ‘send', Gmail will pause for 5 seconds before actually sending the email.

If you realize in that time (and we usually know in an instant when we have done something and wish we hadn't), you press simply ‘Undo' and Gmail redirects the email to your draft box. Email not sent - no harm done!

It's STAR in action

If you're looking for an example of (assisted!) STAR in action, this is it: Stop, Think, Act, Rewire.

Gmail delays (STOPS) the sending for you, giving you time to THINK about what you've just done and what your real intention and the consequences might be.

It gives you 5 seconds to ACT and press ‘undo' if necessary. And if you press ‘undo' it pops it back into your Drafts box so you can REWIRE i.e. review and rewrite the email until it's ready for you to send.

Now all we want is have an ‘undo send' mechanism for our mouths, facial expressions and our body language!

The change organ

Our brains can and do change - it's called neuroplasticity. However, it takes courage to deeply examine what makes us tick and triggers our immediate non-thinking behaviours.

Changing embedded patterns of behaviour can be hard without determination and practice.

We can change our brains by changing our minds. But you have to stay on track. Understanding The Almond Effect® and mastering STAR helps you do that.

Change Leader Programs

Anne Riches offers 1/2 day, 1 to 2 days, and longitudinal programs that develop managers into better change leaders who deliver growth and productivity for their business. 

However acquiring the mindset and capability to deliver through successful leadership competencies doesn't happen as a quick fix.

The more you put in, the more you get out.

The focus is on leading the people side of change as an effective, inspirational and motivational leader - it's not simply or only about processes and models. It's about holding a mirror up and discovering whether you see a genuine change leader. 

if you do, we'll build on it. if you don't, we work to make you the best leader you can be.

For more information, contact Anne at anne@anneriches.com

And see her website for testimonials from businesses that have benefited from Anne's interventions: www.anneriches.com

Are you immodest, impolite and unreasonable?

An interesting approach.  Do you agree with it?

Three things they don't teach you about change leadership

Still hate public speaking?

And your greatest fear is...?

The mind is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you're born and never stops - until you get up to speak in public.

There are moments in our lives where we feel as though we have mastered our emotions. In these moments we feel we can accomplish anything, face any challenge and rise above all obstacles. OK, so these moments may be few and far between but they don't have to be.

In a previous blog posts, we talked about how the brain has triggers in the form of emotional memories or, in some cases, we could call them emotional scars. When we face an event that triggers these memories, our amygdala steps in. That's when we have an emotional outburst, are paralyzed by fear or even act violently; this is what I call The Almond Effect®.

So our experiences of the perfect moment can be overwhelmed by the experiences we would prefer to forget. Like the time you got up in front of your peers to give a speech and the words just disappeared from your brain.

Where did the words go?

Well they didn't just vanish from your mind they merely got caught up in the neural static transmitting from your limbic region to the frontal lobe (neo cortex). You were paralyzed by fear.

A fear of public speaking is common. Some people say they fear it more than death itself - big call :) But it is the case that many people become anxious; their heart rate quickens, they perspire and find the words hard to come by. It is our brain reacting to a perceived threat - most likely the fear of humiliation from speaking in public and not being perfect.

What are your early memories of speaking in public?

Now the reason your brain perceives a threat is mostly to do with those emotional scars you are carrying. You may have been humiliated when speaking in front of friends as a child or you may have forgotten your lines in the school play and had to endure everyone laughing at you. You may have been told to keep quiet as your opinions didn't count. However minor these may seem the emotional impact was enough to leave imprints on your brain.

Try these five steps

Here are five steps for overcoming fear of public speaking:

    Take it in - Don't try to ignore what's happening to you. Allow yourself to feel your emotions as they come and try to understand your reactions. Look at the situations that trigger your fears and figure out what may be the underlying causes. In other words, think about your fears. Work out whether your fears really justify the physical and mental harm that you are doing to yourself and your personal and work relationships by letting them get to you.

    Action - Be proactive in overcoming your fears, challenge yourself to face them. If you fall off the wave then get right back on. If you're anxious about trying something again, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen to you if you fell off again - and constructively work out what you would do about it. Then try again.

    Discipline - Once you have rationalized your fears, set yourself some goals and a plan to achieve them. Commit to the plan and hold yourself accountable to take small steps to reach your final destination. Remember the journey is just as important as what is waiting for you at the end.

    Expression - Do not be afraid to express your feelings, bottling them up will not make them go away. It is OK to be afraid of speaking in front of others and you are not the first or last person to be derailed by your fears.

    Remind yourself that people will not remember what you say but rather the way you say it and the effect it has on them.

Check this out for yourself. Think about a recent presentation you attended that you thought was great. What do you remember most? The words or the manner in which the presenter said them? For the overwhelming majority of people, it's the way in which things were said, not the words, that people remember. So exude confidence even if you're shaking in your shoes!

And to overcome your fear of speaking in public

    Join the National Speakers Association in your country e.g. in Australia log on to NSAA. In the USA, look up NSA. You can find links to other countries' Speakers Associations there. Or join Toastmasters or indeed any speaking organization where you can learn to overcome your fear of speaking and find your voice in a ‘safe' environment.

    Join a committee or a board or project team and speak up. Be the spokesperson. If necessary, write a ‘script' and practice it. Again, ask yourself ‘what is the worst thing that can happen to me if I botch this up?'

    Attend a presentation skills seminar or take a course in public speaking offered by your local community college or other continuing education provider

An essential work skill

Overcoming a fear of speaking in public is not only important for social occasions such as when you're called on to speak at a wedding or give a eulogy. It is also an essential skill for leaders at any level.

How many good ideas have fallen to the ground because of an inability to persuade others to take them on? How many organizational changes have floundered because management couldn't sell the changes to staff and get their buy-in? How many opportunities have you missed out on because you couldn't promote yourself well enough?

Leadership for Change Management Programs

Anne Riches offers 1/2 day, 1 to 2 days, and longitudinal programs that develop managers into better change leaders who deliver growth and productivity for their business. 

However acquiring the mindset and capability to deliver through successful leadership competencies doesn't happen as a quick fix.

The more you put in, the more you get out.

The focus is on leading the people side of change as an effective, inspirational and motivational leader - it's not simply or only about processes and models. it's about holding a mirror up and discovering whether you see a genuine change leader. if you do, we'll build on it. if you don't, we work to make you the best leader you can be.

For more information, contact Anne at anne@anneriches.com

And see her website for testimonials from businesses that have benefited from Anne's interventions: www.anneriches.com

7 + 4 steps to get your M&A to succeed

40 to 80% of mergers fail to meet objectives.  This reported study of 94 mergers between 2004 - 2008 confirms what most of us see in failed change attempts. Leadership is the key.

There are 3 key findings:

(1) Leadership capabilities in both acquirers and targets predict success and are equally important

(2) 7 specific leadership competences for acquirers and 4 for targets predict success.

(3) Senior leadership capabilities in acquirers and middle management leadership in targets have the greatest effect on success.

Acquirer Leaders:

1. Motivate others
2. Influence others
3. Build relationships
4. Develop others
5. Act with integrity
6. Show adaptability
7. Focus on customer needs

Target Leaders:

1. Motivate others
2. Influence others
3. Build relationships
4. Provide direction

In the positively performing deals, based on financial returns, companies with all 7 competences outperformed their country index by 8.4% and their industry index by 10.4%.

Key takeaways:

• Do your due diligence on leadership capabilities - they predict success
•  Assess collective leadership capabilities of acquirer and target as part of your due diligence, and integration planning.
• Consider also beneficial contracts to retain middle managers in targets

The Leaders Who Make M&A Work
By J. Keith Dunbar

Harvard Business Review Sept 2014 p28

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Change Leader Programs

Anne Riches offers 1/2 day, 1 to 2 days, and longitudinal programs that develop managers into better change leaders who deliver growth and productivity for their business. 

However acquiring the mindset and capability to deliver through successful leadership competencies doesn't happen as a quick fix.

The more you put in, the more you get out.

The focus is on leading the people side of change as an effective, inspirational and motivational leader - it's not simply or only about processes and models. it's about holding a mirror up and discovering whether you see a genuine change leader. if you do, we'll build on it. if you don't, we work to make you the best leader you can be.

For more information, contact Anne at anne@anneriches.com

And see her website for testimonials from businesses that have benefited from Anne's interventions: www.anneriches.com

A great video on why performance rankings don't work

Most performance management systems are set up on entirely the wrong premise - if you follow the neuroscientific research.

Well worth watching.

Why Your Brain Responds to Performance Ratings